This Love
by CrimsonKissMJ
Summary: She tried to get away from the Donnellys but she always ended in the same place she started.SEQUEL IS UP! Back at your door.
1. Inside Out

Welcome to my Black Donnelly's Fiction. Of course, I do not own any of the Donnelly's because if I did the show wouldn't be cancelled. Not the point but yea the original story is being tweaked so there are diffrences in the chapter. I just hope you all enjoy this story as much as I do writing it. Reviews are nice so if you like it or hate please say so. Now here's the story. Full story is based on "This Love by Maroon 5 and this chapter is based on "Inside Out" by Emmy Rossum. Enjoy!

* * *

_The interrogation room was filled to capacity with Joey Ice Cream, his lawyer, and about five cops that wanted his head on a platter._

"_Tell me about Bridgette Butler." The tall cop with his hair pulled into a ponytail threw a picture of a woman towards Joey Ice Cream. Joey just glanced down at it and turned his attention to the wall behind the cop's head. He knew who it was. Those eyes gave it away. Those deep blue eyes and that crimson red hair._

"_I'd rather not." Joey said silently. The cop looked towards his partner._

"_Since, when don't you want to talk?" Another cop inquired. Joey looked at him. He was the same one who always sat on his interrogations. He was short and stubby but very intimidating. He always made Joey uncomfortable and he wasn't exactly helping his fears at the moment._ _Joey turned his head back to the wall and pretended to not pay attention._

"_You have no choice. I want to know why this girl disappeared… Is Bridgette dead?" Joey cringed. Dead, not the word he wanted to hear. His lawyer leaned over._

"_Joey, you either talk or no protection." Joey sighed and began to fiddle with his hands ignoring his lawyer's advice._

"_Was she your girl or something?" The third officer inquired. He was the tallest of all the other offices. He was a sarcastic bastard that has always threatened him. Jerk. Joey thought. He knew this was one question he had to answer._

"_No, she was Kevin's." Joey sighed again, knowing he had no choice but to tell them about her. "Everyone called her Bebe."_

"_Bridgette Butler" The cop said putting the nickname together. "Oh, that's really intelligent." Joey rolled his eyes as the sarcastic officer came out with a non-original sarcastic comment._

"_It was a nickname almost everyone in the neighborhood had one. Bebe Donnelly…" Joey bit his tongue realizing the mistake he made._

"_Her name was Donnelly?" One of the cops asked. "We don't have that on file." He said flipping through some papers._

"_I'm not there yet." Too late now, he thought. "Anyway, she was just a normal neighborhood girl. Her mother grew up with Mrs. Donnelly, too. They were tight so it wasn't a coincidence that Bebe and the Donnelly's were friends. Well, Bebe didn't have the happiest childhood. Mrs. Butler was an absolute sweetheart and her father was a goddamn prick. He would beat all of them. Not a pretty sight even for our neighborhood. Let's just say Bobby Donnelly stepped in and took care of it." _

"_Can we get back to the fact that Bridgette is missing?" Joey rolled his eyes again and continued his story. He hated when people would interrupt him._

"_Alright, let me get to it. Sheesh. So Bebe is the youngest of all of us. We all loved her right away. You can't help it she's just one of those girls you can't help but feel the need to protect. We all expected her to get the hell out. She was the smartest of us. Even skipping a grade. We were even surprised when she fell hard for Kevin. We though she would be one of those girls who marry a business man type. Didn't happen. And Kevin fell just as hard back. " _

"_Do I really look like I care about Kevin Donnelly's love life? I want to know if Bridgette is dead." The first cop yelled._

"_I'm not going to get anywhere if you keep interrupting me. So we all grow up…and all that other crap. All of a sudden Kevin and Bebe are this strange awkward couple. You can't even classify them as a couple. It's like they were together but they weren't. It was worse than what Tommy and Jenny had. No one would even speak about it. Anyway, when she was eighteen all of sudden she gives up her scholarship to college and moves to Ireland. Needless to say Kevin was heartbroken. Than she comes back for Mama Donnelly's funeral. Than runs away again. We all thought we would never see her again. Than all of a sudden she pops back up again. You would get a headache thinking of how many times she ran away and came back. Anyway, that's when everything started."_

_Joey stopped talking and looked ahead like he was envisioning something. The first cop threw his head down on the desk as Joey continued._

888888888888888888

The dingy bar stood in front of me. The Firecracker Lounge in all its glory. The door was only in an arms distance but it was like a barrier I was afraid to cross. It's not that I'm a chicken. I'm just afraid. Afraid of what I might find lying behind this door. Afraid of the consequences of me opening this door. My hand reached out for the doorknob. I retracted it instantly. I don't think I have the strength to walk in. I want to but I can't. I took a deep breath but turned right back around. Maybe I should see Jenny first. It would be easier. She could force me into doing it. She wouldn't let me wimp out like I'm doing now. But I was too late. The door of the bar swung open and out came a disheveled Jimmy. He looked horrible. Bloodshot eyes to go with his pale, sickly looking face. He took a minute to look me over and the recognition finally came. I knew he was high right at that moment. It would never take him to time to recognize me. I was his little sister and would always be. He broke into a big smile suddenly.

"Hey, sweetheart." He came over to me and threw his arms around me. "You back for good this time or you're going in for round two of breaking my brother's heart." He was being an asshole and he never acted that way with me unless I deserved it. That comment I admit I deserved.

"Oh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." I said sarcastically. "It's my first day officially back, would you mind being nice to me?" I was begging him with my eyes to not give me a hard time about Kevin. I couldn't deal with it at the moment.

He smirked. "I think I can manage. Come on go inside and get a drink. It's free." I glanced away. He knew I was thinking Kevin was in there. "Kevin's not in there but Tommy and Seannie are." He grabbed my forearm and threw me inside the bar. I was extremely reluctant but he just pushed me in. Something must have happened because he was way to into the idea of me going into the bar. Usually he would just whisk me away so we could hang out. He loved to just sit and talk with me. Probably because I'm the only one who would listen.

"Jimmy, get the hell out." I heard Tommy scream. I threw my hands above my head as I walked towards them. Jimmy let go of my arm and ran out of the bar. Tommy was pissed at him so he would throw me into the crossfire so I get hit and he doesn't. That bastard.

"Bebe?" Tommy said surprised. I smiled as Sean ran towards me and picked me up. He threw me over his shoulder and spun me. I began to feel dizzy so I screamed for him to let me down. He dropped me onto a barstool and I held onto him until I didn't feel dizzy anymore. Tommy pushed him away from me and he hugged me. He squeezed me so tight I could feel as if we both stopped breathing. I missed Tommy so much. It was hard not to be around him and to not ask for his advice went something went wrong. What Tommy and I had was very special. Don't get me wrong, I have a connection with all the boys in some way or another but with Tommy I swear we could be brother and sister. He is my soul mate.

"What are you doing back?" Sean asked pulling Tommy away from me. Tommy laughed and went to grab his drink.

"My life wasn't particularly working out to well in Ireland." Tommy's eyes shot down to my ring finger.

"Clearly." He said sarcastically. I glared at him. He always knew how to make me understand my bad decisions. He was like a parent who always guilts his kids. He and I engaged in a staring contest until I saw Sean grab his phone and begin to dial.

"Who are you calling?" I said nervously.

"Kevin, he has to know your-"

"No!" I yelled. Tommy and Sean threw confused glances my way. I calmed myself before saying anything else."I'm not ready to see him after last ti- and I should stop talking now." I ran around the bar and grabbed a glass. I threw some Jack into it and shot it down

"Hey, you're not 21" Tommy yelled. I just laughed at him.

"Ireland's drinking age is eighteen. So I'm a little ahead of the game." He rolled his eyes at me. Drinking, was never a fight he was going to win. Since Jimmy gave me my first beer at 15.

"Also, is there any particular reason you don't want to see Kevin?" Tommy inquired. I realized he hadn't heard my side of the story from the funeral. If I played my cards right he wasn't ever going to know. No matter how much I tell him that night is off limits.

"I'm just not ready." I said seriously.

"Is it because you're too stubborn to admit you want him?" Tommy said. I glared at him.

"Tommy, no offense but you're not one to give relationship advice. How long did it take you to admit you loved Jenny?" Tommy grimaced. Bulls-eye. I win. I heard Sean crack up. I smiled at Tommy to lighten him up. "I said no offense. Anyway, I need to go see Jenny first. I don't want to hear her bitch about why I saw all of you and not her first." I walked back from around the bar. I hugged Tommy and Sean. Tommy grabbed my hand to stop me from leaving.

"Please promise me that you're not going to break his heart again." He said seriously.

"Can you promise me that he won't break mine?" I said lowly. Tommy's eyes shot to the floor.

"Yeah, I thought so. I'll see you guys later." I walked to the door and slammed it open and I walked to Reilly's diner in the crisp spring air.

Reilly's diner hadn't changed. I don't think it has ever changed since we were kids. Not even from when I worked here as a teenager. Jenny was standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Her father wasn't working anymore so she was juggling everything. She looked tired but beautiful. Her gorgeous black hair was tied up in a ponytail and she looked as if she had flour on her face. I stifled a laugh. Her eyes were locked on the floor. Jenny always looked somewhat dazy. She was a dreamer. Same as Tommy. I walked closer towards her. Her eyes shot up and she stared at me, her eyes growing wide.

"Bebe!?" Jenny half screamed. Her eyes lite up like a kid on Christmas morning. Damn, she really must have missed me. Now, I really feel guilty for leaving. She always could guilt trip me somehow.

"Yeah, I'm back." I smiled at her as she ran around the counter towards me. She grabbed me into a big hug. She pulled away and smiled.

"How long you staying for? Please tell me you're not going to bail out like last time." I looked down in the floor. Told you, she could always make me feel bad.

"Back for good, I think. Mom wanted me to get my life back to normal." She grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit with her.

"God, you look great. Why didn't you tell me you were coming in your last letter?" I shrugged.

"I actually didn't decide till the last minute. I thought it would be good to come home for a while… I just broke up with Caleb." Jenny leaned over and grabbed my hand. I pulled away not wanting her to feel sympathy for me.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly.

"Don't be. I'm actually relieved." I said jokingly. I didn't mean too but it came out that way. She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Don't get me wrong I loved him but I didn't want to marry him." I stammered as my eyes shifted to the floor.

"I know you better than that, Bebe. What stopped you was Kevin." Her blues eyes burned into me. I hated that she was right, but she was. I felt my cheeks redden. Redden with thinking of Kevin.

"How is he?" I asked suddenly.

"He's still keeps getting in trouble. He's always following Jimmy. Maybe you could get him to stop some of his shit so I could get Tommy home at a decent hour." I smiled and attempted to turn the conversation in her direction.

"How are you and Tommy doing? We didn't talk for too long." A smile lit her face. She smiled brighter then I have ever seen her when she would talk about Tommy. I had never seen Jenny that happy.

"You saw Tommy?" She said surprised.

"Yeah, I dropped in at the Firecracker. So first tell me about how you guys are doing and then tell me how bad in Jimmy doing."

"I'm worried sick most of the time but other than that we're doing great. And Jimmy is a whole new story." A loose strand of hair fell in her eyes and she pushed it back. Nervous habit of Jenny's. She always played with her hair.

"Still on banged out of his head?"

"Yeah, Tommy is being pulled apart because of him. I really don't want to talk about Jimmy right now. I want to talk about you and Kevin. What the hell happened between you two? You guys were all close about the funeral than all of a sudden you ran back to Ireland without saying goodbye." I knew she was going to ask these questions and I really wanted to avoid them but I couldn't.

"Nothing. We had a fight. I apologized. I sent him letters. I tried to get him to talk to me but he wouldn't. Guess he still hasn't forgiven me" I put my elbow on the counter and rested my chin in my palm. Jenny looked as if she all of sudden remembered something.

"Yeah, and you know what? He still has those letters. Maybe he was just too scared to forgive you."

"What?" I lifted my head up and stared at her.

"He did, Bebe. After you left Tommy was looking through some of Mrs. Donnelly's stuff and he found an old box filled with a bunch of things that were yours. It had sweaters, letters you wrote to him, pictures, anything you two ever shared together was in there. Kevin, had a fit when Tommy found it. Threatened him, too. Said if he told anyone he would cut Tommy to shreds." She smiled at me.

"Wow, I thought-"Jenny cut me off mid-sentence.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" She inquired. Damnit, why did she have to ask the most difficult question of all?

"Maybe, I don't know. I did come back here for him and you and everyone. I just- I don't know anymore. I just ruined a perfectly good relationship with a man who loved me. I don't think we ever recovered after I told h-" I forgot I hadn't told her about my short fling with Kevin.

"What?" Jenny was beyond confused at this moment.

"I came back here to-"The bell on the door chimed and Jenny's eye's grew wide. I didn't need to turn around. I knew who standing behind me.

"Jenny, Tommy wanted me to come here and-" I turned around. Kevin Donnelly stood before me. His hair was longer than I remembered and curlier. The strong cheek bones and the eyes were the same. Those light blue eyes that I always loved. His mouth hung open as he stared at me. His eyes were wide. He looked at me like I was some ghost.

"Hey, Kevin." I said shyly.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned around and walked out the door. I ran after him, pushing against Jenny who kept trying to block me. I got out of the diner and followed Kevin down the street.

"Kevin, can we just talk?" I yelled down the street. He stopped and walked back towards me. His face was red with anger and his eyes cold.

"Bridgette, what are you doing here? Do you think you can just screw with my head than go back to your fiancée?" A lump formed in my throat. He walked closer to me until he was hovering over me. Even closer he seemed colder. He didn't look like my Kevin anymore.

"I know I messed up, alright? I came back because I want my life back. I wanted to see if you wanted our friendship back." I said honestly.

"You ran away." He spat causing a shiver to run up my spine.

"I know I did. I freaked out. I had a fiancée waiting for me. I couldn't just drop the life I had started for myself in Ireland. But you know what? I realized it wasn't good enough. I couldn't live my life without you in it." I felt some tears rushing to my cheeks. Kevin grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. I held him as hard as I could.

"I missed you so much." He whispered in my ear. As he pulled away from me I wiped away the few tears that lingered on my cheeks. He gave me a goofy smile. That was our relationship. We always fought and the next minute we would be laughing. This time we were far from where we were but we were getting there.

"Now for putting me through that hell you're buying me a drink." He smiled and grabbed my hand. He looked down at my hand and smiled. I turned around smirking and saw Jenny was watching in the window. I waved to her to signify that we were fine and she went back to work. We didn't even make it to the bar when Tommy ran towards us.

"Kevin, did you talk to Jenny?" Tommy didn't even look at me.

"I didn't have time. Bridgette's back." Kevin said looking down at me.

"I know." He replied.

"Why the hell-"

"Not now, Kevin. We have bigger problems. Jimmy just pissed off a few drug dealers now there after him."

"We can take them." Kevin said confidently.

"Kevin, do you understand that there some of Alo's old men? I say we get him into rehab and deal with this ourselves." Tommy said.

"Come on, Tommy." Kevin whined.

"This is not a game anymore, Kevin. Jimmy needs serious help or he is going to die and take us down with him. It's a good plan. Now I need you to get back to the bar. Frankie's on his way."

"We tried this already Tommy. It didn't work last time."

"We'll this time we have Joanie. Now get back to the bar." Tommy turned and smiled at me. I nodded and he ran back to the Firecracker. Kevin squeezed my hand. I turned to him and kissed his cheek.

"Kevin, go get your brother to rehab. I know a few friends in St. Mary's. They'll take good care of him." Kevin let go of my hand. He began to walk up the block but turned around.

"You sure you don't wan to come?" He said.

"I'll let you boys deals with it." I said.

"Can I come by tonight?" He asked.

"Sure." With that Kevin walked up the block. I turned and walked back to Reilly's diner. To tell Jenny everything I knew.

Jenny and I talked for the rest of the day. Than around ten I walked home. The plan was to drink as much coffee as needed to stay awake but I don't think it helped because the next thing I heard was pounding on my door. I ran to the mirror and I attempted to salvage my hair and makeup but it was no use so I just threw open the door. I was surprised to find Kevin, Tommy, and Sean was standing on my stoop. Blood was seeping through their clothes and they looked badly beaten. I sighed. This was not my plan for tonight.

"Come in, get in the kitchen and take off the clothes." They looked at me as if I was crazy. "I didn't mean like that. You guys came for medical help so I'm going to help." My mother was a nurse so I learned a few tricks of the trade so when ever the boys were hurt they would come to me or my mother. My mother wasn't here, though, so I was the best they got.

The boys walked in and made there way towards the kitchen.

"Is Jimmy okay?" I asked, noticing that Jimmy wasn't with them.

"Oh, he's fine in rehab while we got jumped by a couple of his friends." Tommy said.

"Lovely day in the neighborhood." I said sarcastically.

You wonder why I left the neighbored. Look no further than the Donnelly brothers. Anyone who gets involved with them gets hurt. I had that pleasure but it's better to get hurt by them than be loved by anyone else. Even growing up they would come to me when someone fell or if someone was in pain. I never cared. They were my friends. I wasn't like Jenny who was always with them but I had my time. I was the baby so everyone felt the need to protect me. I always was close with the boys. I had a strange connection with all of them. Everyone is the neighborhood assumed I was going to marry one of them or marry some lawyer type. They thought I would fall for Sean. I accidentally fell for Kevin. Big surprise. The only problem was wondering if Kevin wanted me, too.

"A day after I get back to town. I become the Donnelly's personal Doctor again." I grabbed a bag out of my closet. Kevin's injuries were by far the worst. His face was bloodied and his arm looked as if it was out of place. I calmed, noticing that it could have been worse. Tommy just looked bruised and his arm was a bit cut up. Sean just looked as if he was just tired or maybe he was kicked in the stomach. I grabbed Sean first to check him out. He was the youngest of the boys. Tommy would flip out if he was badly hurt, again. I lifted up his shirt. His stomach was blackened. Tommy caught his breath. I gave a calm look to Tommy. His jaw was tense. There was nothing worse than Tommy tense.

"Relax." I said to both Tommy and Sean. I touched Sean's stomach and he didn't wince in pain. "Just some bruising on the skin. Go upstairs to my brother's room and change your clothes. Throw them down here. I need to throw them in the wash and bleach them. Jump in the shower. The water will help a bit. Call me if you're in any pain." I grabbed his hand. "Any pain. Got it?"

"Yes, Ma'am." He smiled. Even if he was in pain he never showed it. Typical Irish boy. He obliged and ran up the stairs. I looked at Kevin and Tommy and they were laughing.

"So when did you develop a criminal mind?" Tommy laughed.

"Since I met you assholes. I don't want anybody's blood showing up on your clothes other than your own. And you guys spent the whole night here watching movies with me. Got it?" Both of the nodded.

"God, how did we survive without you?" Kevin laughed.

"Shut up. I want you both to do that too after I check you out. Tommy, you're next." His shirt was off and he had a few cuts on his chest. I began to blot away some blood.

"Guess you're still working out." I winked at him. He laughed.

"Don't you think you should buy me a drink first?" he said. I laughed. Tommy and I always would joke around. He was always the one who paid attention to my problems. He always made sure I was happy. I always appreciated that.

"Who won the fight?" I said. Tommy smirked. I wasn't surprised. They were always great fighters.

"Did any of you hit your heads?" Tommy glanced over to Kevin. I pulled away from Tommy and went and lightly touched Kevin's head.

"How bad?" I asked nervously. I couldn't deal if Kevin was really hurt.

"He only hit my head on the floor twice." Kevin said stupidly. I hated when he did that.

"You idiot! You only share that with me now. You could have a concussion." I screamed. Tommy just stared at Kevin while Kevin just looked down at the floor.

"I feel fine." He said.

"Tommy, he has to stay here tonight. I have to watch him." Tommy nodded and I pulled away from Kevin to finish up Tommy. As soon as I was done he ran upstairs and Kevin walked towards me.

"Why isn't your shirt off?" I inquired. He smiled the smile I loved and his eyes grew bright. I knew what he was thinking.

"Do you want my shirt off?" He said smugly.

"Would you like me to stitch you up or would you rather I kick your ass?" Kevin backed up and finally took his shirt off. I must admit it took me a minute to recover. He was more muscular than I remembered. Not like Tommy's but nice for Kevin. Thank God he didn't notice so I just went to get a fresh towel out of the bag.

"I'll be good." Kevin sat on the kitchen table as I wiped the blood from his face. I gave him a bag of peas to hold on his face. I touched his chest lightly and began to stitch it up.

"Ow, that hurts." He whined.

"You are such a baby, Kevin." I continued to tease him to distract him from me putting his arm back in place. He yelled out in pain again as I snapped it back in place.

"You could have warned me." He yelled.

"Then it would have hurt more." He observed me for a few minutes.

"What are you staring at?" I said.

"I just feel bad that the first day you come back-" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"We don't have to talk about what happened. It was a mistake." I was still fumbling with stitching his chest. He grimaced at me.

"Then why did you come back?" He said bitterly.

"I came back because I didn't want to give up my best friend. Is that so hard to understand?" Kevin nodded and by the look in his eyes I knew I should have changed the subject. "Let's just talk about something else."

"Like why you broke off your engagement?" He said casually.

"I broke it off because I'm too young to get married to someone I didn't love." I lightly touched his face and he just stared up at me. I froze. He leaned in closer to me. I closed my eyes leaning closer. The moment stopped when Tommy yelled from upstairs Sean's name. Kevin and I ran up the stairs. Sean was lying on the ground. I sat next to him and began to examine him.

"He must have passed out from the pain. We'll let him sleep it off. Can you guys put him on the bed?" Tommy and Kevin picked him up and put him on my bed. Tommy, Kevin, and I went downstairs to my living room. Tommy began to look at his watch. His face was twisted with nerves.

"Tommy, go to Jenny before she kick's my ass." I said. Tommy jumped up and kissed me on the cheek.

"Bebe, don't take advantage." He winked at me and I threw a pillow at him. He ran out and Kevin smiled at me. I grabbed the remote from my table and turned on the television. I laid my head against Kevin's shoulder and fell into a peaceful asleep.


	2. Memory

Here's the second Chapter (Edited) Again, I don not own the Donnelly's in any shape or form.

Note: I'm writing the sotry as a puzzle like how the actual show was written. Every week you would find something new. I just want to state that so people don't get confused.

This Chapter is based on the song "Memory" by Sugarcult.

* * *

"_Bebe and Kevin didn't know but this was beginning of a long but beautiful relationship. It also led to the downfall of Bebe." Joey Ice Cream said._

"_Joey, are you telling me the truth about what happened?" The psychologist said._

"_Yeah, I was there." He said._

"_Than why can't you tell the cops if Bridgette is dead or alive."_

"_Like I said…" Joey continued on with his story._

8888888888888888888888888

I woke up around six in the morning to make sure Sean was ok. I checked on him. He was fine. He was a tough kid. So I went back downstairs and fell back asleep on the couch. The jetlag was killing me. The next time I woke up it was because of my cell phone. I woke up to the blasting of The Who's "My Generation." Kevin didn't even stir. I looked down and realized I had been sleeping with my head on Kevin's lap. I groaned and grabbed my cell of the counter. I flipped it open instantly.

"Tommy, Sean's fine. Kevin's asleep so I'll meet you at the bar when they wake up." I said quickly. I always knew which boy was calling. He wasn't surprised because he just spoke right away.

"When Kevin wakes up, come to the diner instead for some breakfast. Also, tell Sean to get over to see Nadine. She's left me over 50 messages. And one more thing thank you for taking care of them."

"Tommy, you don't ever have to thank me. I'll see you in about an hour. Tell Jenny to make me some chocolate chip pancakes." Tommy began to laugh.

"I will. See you in an hour." The line went dead and I slammed my phone shut. I began to lightly tap Kevin's shoulder. He didn't even stir so I hit him in the head. He jumped up quickly and stared at me bewildered.

"What'd do that for?" He asked

"You wouldn't wake up." I got up and walked to the kitchen for some coffee. Kevin followed. I forgot I hadn't bought coffee so I just settled for some orange juice.

"Aren't you going to offer me any breakfast?" He said.

"Tommy wants us at the diner so you can get some there. Do me a favor and go wake up Sean."

"Sean's already up." Sean appeared out of the doorway. His color looked better than last night. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a seat.

"Sit." I commanded him. He sat right away and I put down my cup of O.J. I lifted his shirt and made sure there was no serious damage.

"Do you feel faint or anything like that?" I said.

"I've been kicked in the stomach before I can tell the difference." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Tommy said that Nadine was freaking out so call her and tell her that you're fine and you'll see her in a few minutes." I grabbed my cup and dumped it out. "I'm going to jump in the shower and I'll drive you to Nadine's and Kevin you're coming to the diner with me." I ran up the stairs and jumped in and out of the shower. I threw my wet hair in a bun and threw on some old sweats. The boys were still in the kitchen by the time I came down. I grabbed a jacket out of the closet and forced them out the door. I dropped off Sean than Kevin and I made our way to the diner.

Reilly's Diner was closed when we got there but Jenny opened it up as soon as she saw us. A batch of chocolate chip pancakes was set up on the counter.

"God, Jenny what the hell did I do in Ireland without your cooking?" I said to her while running to my pancakes.

"So do you think you're going to stay for good?" Tommy said. I already had my face half-stuffed with pancakes. I nodded my head trying to chew down my food. They all chuckled. As soon as I finished Jenny took her hand in mine. She got a serious look in her eyes which scared me.

"Since my father had to be put in a home. –

"_Since when was Jenny's father in a home?" The psychiatrist asked._

"_I didn't tell you that part? Ok, so a few days after Jenny realized she wasn't going to give up on Tommy she told her dad. He already was on the way out, if you know what I mean so he flipped. Nearly chocked Jenny to death. Poor guy didn't know what he was doing. He broke Jenny's heart. Anyway. He was choking her and Tommy has to wrestle him off her. Jenny knew right then he father needed help. So she called up Bebe and got a number for a good psycho ward or whatever you call a place like that. Now can I get back to the story?" The Physiatrist nodded and Joey continued._

"Since my father had to be put in a home. I've been running this place one handed so I wondering since you're really a good cook you can help me here at the diner." She said.

"Like a job?" I said.

"Yeah, I'd pay you and everything. Please, Bebe I really-really need the help and you're my best friend. Also, the fact that you left for a really long time and I had to be stuck with these assholes puts things in my favor." Her eyes were full of hope. God, I hated that she knew what to hold against me.

"Of course I will Jen." She embraced me so hard I couldn't breathe.

"Jen-Can't-breath" She pulled away from me and smiled. Tommy threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed it.

"Aw, my girls are back." Jenny and I rolled our eyes. I shrugged Tommy's arm off.

"Tommy, I told you after last time you're not going any." I said dramatically. Jenny and Kevin cracked up while Tommy's face soured. My cell rang suddenly. I flipped it open.

"Hello?" I cheerily

"Bridgette, please don't hang up." As the voice came over the phone and I growled. My ex-fiancée Caleb felt the need to call me after I told him we were over.

"I told you to not call me ever again." I said getting up and walking out of the diner.

"I know why you broke up with me." He said.

"What?" I said angrily.

"You slept with Kevin. Don't even try to deny it. Daniel told me everything." Fuck, this is why I don't trust my brother.

Kevin walked out of the diner and threw his arm over my shoulder.

"Is everything ok?" He said. Caleb must have heard him because I heard a groan.

"He's there isn't he? Tell him –"

"I'm not telling him anything and by tomorrow my number will be changed." I slammed the phone shut. I threw my body into Kevin's and he just held me.

"Are you ok?" He asked pulling his body away from mine.

"No- it's just my goddamn ex-fiancée. He won't leave me alone." I saw Kevin's body tense.

"No, not like Samson. I just- he's upset because I broke up with him over you."

"Over me? I thought you said you wanted to forget-"

"Kevin, I just don't know. " I tried to walk back into the diner but Kevin grabbed my forearm.

"Is this going to ruin our friendship?" I asked quietly.

Kevin just stood their silently. We were at an impasse.

"_And that impasse was going to last." Joey said._

_The female guard outside of Joey's cell looked up as Joey's psychiatrist left frustrated._

"_So what exactly happened between Bridgette and Kevin that they refuse to talk about?" She said._

_Joey smiled knowing that he would get to tell his story some more._

* * *

Review! This is not my favortie chapter so I would love some notes, reviews, anything you can give me. 


	3. Dirty Little Secret

I own nothing. It's been a hectic few weeks so I should be updating a little more now that its over. This chapter is based on the song "Dirty Little Secret" by The All American Rejects. Review!

Note: This is told in a flashback to Helen Donnelly's funeral.

* * *

"_It all started when Jenny called Bridgette to tell her that Mrs. Donnelly had died…."_

I don't even know how I got to New York. I can't remember anything since that phone call. Helen Donnelly was dead. The woman I grew up with had died. My mother was just as bad as I was but she was in no way up to coming home. Every limb was numb like I was in some sort of alternate universe. I stood in front of my old neighborhood church. It looked as if the whole neighborhood came. I couldn't bring myself to walk in. I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and saw Kate Farrell. She embraced me instantly. Kate was a neighbor of mine and my mother had always taken care of Matthew. She pulled away and I saw Matthew. I bent down to his level and he embraced me. I thought he would be more reluctant but he wasn't.

"Are you ok, sweetie?" Kate asked. I noticed how nervous Matthew seemed so I pulled a toy car out of my bag. It seemed weird that I had a toy car but my mother had wanted me to give this to him. I gave the car to Matthew and he smiled. Kate smiled graciously at me.

"I'm more worried about the boys." I said to her returning to the conversation. She squeezed my arm and grabbed Matthews's hand.

"I going to get Matthew settled. Funerals are hard on him." She said.

"I understand." We embraced again and she walked inside. I looked around and my eyes caught Jenny. She was talking to some people in the neighborhood. I made my way towards her. She looked as bad as I did. As soon as she saw me she ran towards me and embraced me. We both didn't want to let go but we did. When we pulled away we both had tears pouring out.

"You being here is going to make it easier on all of us." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"I just wish the last time I saw her wasn't so long ago. It's just- "

"It wasn't like you didn't talk to her every week. You were like a daughter to her. You and I were the only girls Helen actually liked." Jenny and I laughed. There was a silence when we were done. I looked around quickly and spotted the boys next to the hearse. I than looked back at Jenny.

"Jenny, do the boys know that you called me?" I said nervously.

"Tommy does. He wants you to sit with us." I turned back. I didn't want to make my way toward them but Jenny pulled me along. All the boys were huddled together. They looked horrible. As soon as Tommy saw me he stopped talking lowly to Kevin. All the boys turned their attention to me. I didn't need to say any words my eyes were doing all the talking. I still had tears tattooed on my cheeks. Tommy was the first to pick me up into his arms.

"She really would have loved that you're here." He whispered in my ear. He pulled away and I turned my self to Jimmy. He did the same thing and so did Sean. Lastly, I turned to Kevin. He and I just stared at each other until his six foot frame fell into me. I felt his tears spilling down my shoulder and I couldn't help but cry too. Kevin was never one to show emotion but when it came to his mother it was totally different story. It was hard on Jenny and I but we would never understand how they felt. He pulled away and held my hand.

"I asked Bridgette to sit with us." Jenny said to Tommy. He nodded and went over to the casket. Kevin let go of my hand and followed Tommy. Jenny and I walked into the church and waited for the casket to pass us.

The Funeral went past in a blur. Kevin and I sat next to each other. His arm was laid across my shoulder. He pulled me closer whenever his mother was mentioned. Tommy got up and made one of the most heartfelt speeches. All of us were sobbing. I swear Kevin and I stopped breathing for a few moments but we held on to one another to make it go away. I don't believe Kevin and I would have made it through the mass without each other. I believe that Helen wanted it that way.

The wake was of course at the Firecracker. Kevin and I slipped out after a few minutes. He and I walked in silence for a few moments until he's words flew out.

"I killed Dokey." I squeezed his hand tighter.

"I know." I whispered. Kevin and I sat and talked about everything that had happened. Kevin thought I would be scared.

"I'm not the same person that you left a year ago. I don't have a conscience." I grabbed his face.

"Kevin, you have a conscience." I said reassuringly.

"Even that. Why would you still want to be near me?" He turned away. I threw my hand around his neck and made him look at me.

"Kevin, I always wanted you near me. I just needed to be away. I needed to go to a place where I didn't have the Donnelly's protecting me." Kevin smiled. I let my hand fall away from his neck but he caught it and placed it back. He came closer until his lips caught mine. I swear all sense was lost as soon as Kevin's lips touched mine. I felt his hand sliding down my back. I pushed him off quickly. He took it as rejection and began to walk away.

"Kevin, No- I mean just not here." Kevin ran back towards me. His apartment was just up the street. We both ran as quickly as possible. I didn't even expect us to get up the stairs but we did and bolted the lock. It wasn't good if one of the boys saw us. Both are clothes were gone in a matter of seconds. His body was pressed up against mine. I could feel both are hearts racing in time. I just looked into his eyes and knew it was the right thing to do.

Kevin and I walked back to the bar in silence. The door swung open. Only the Donnelly's and their girls were in the bar. The place was an absolute mess. I sighed. I don't think I can handle this. I grabbed Kevin's hand and pulled him out of the bar. I leaned up and caught his lips. I pulled away when his lips hungered for ore.

"I love you." I said and walked back into the bar. Kevin and I didn't talk for the rest of the night. I played with the ring upon my finger. I wish it had never come to this. Jenny noticed my hand and glared at me. She pulled me aside.

"Please, tell me that-this" She grabbed my hand. "Is an old family heirloom..."

"I'm leaving tonight. I need to figure some things out." I felt the tears pouring out again. I looked over to Kevin. He smiled at me. "I can't hurt him. I can't hurt myself." I grabbed a napkin and pen and began to jot down a few things. "Please give this to him but wait until I leave." I stayed for a few more hours than I walked home. I also walked out of Kevin's life.

"_We thought she would be gone for good but it only lasted a month. I never did find out what she wrote on that napkin but after Jenny gave it to Kevin. He barely even got out of bed. All I know is that this was the pinnacle of their relationship." Joey stopped and looked up at another prison guard standing there._

"_You know some people are trying to sleep." The officer said. Joey laid his head down and tried to go to sleep but he knew that he couldn't with all the images flowing through his brain when his life made sense._


	4. Infatuation

So I know it's been about a month but it's been pretty hectic so now I have two chapters ready to go. Again, I own nothing and this chapter is based "Infatuation" by Maroon 5. Please review or give notes because it helps me write a better story and thank you anyone for reading this.

* * *

_"So what happened next?" she asked. Her green eyes growing with excitement._

"_Well Bebe couldn't admit how much she wanted Kevin…"_

I ran back inside and grabbed my purse and jacket. Jenny and Tommy looked at me questionably.

"Jenny, I'll call you tonight." Kevin was already back in the diner so I pushed past him and ran down the block. I knew Kevin follwed but I just kept running.

"Bridgette, Come on." Kevin yelled.

"Just leave it alone." Finally Kevin jumped in front of me and grabbed my forearms.

"What do you want?" He said seriously.

"I don't even know." He let go of me and reached in his pocket. "Can I please just go?" Kevin handed me a box which looked like a jewelry box. "What is this?"

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. "I bought it for you before you left for the first time. Mom helped me pick it out. I was going to admit I loved you than you disappeared. I didn't have the heart to get rid of it" I opened up the box and saw a claddagh ring with my emerald birthstone. I sighed knowing that this is was so different for Kevin.

"Kevin, I never stopped loving you that's why I came back. I just need some time to sort out my life just for a little while." Kevin grabbed my hand but I pulled away. "I want you more than anything but please just do this for me." I slid the ring on my finger and placed the heart facing my arm. "Just know you have my heart." I leaned up and kissed Kevin on the cheek. His whole faced turned red. I laughed and pulled him into a hug. We pulled away after a few moments. "I'll come by the bar tonight and we'll talk some more." Kevin nodded and walked down the block. I know it was corny but the thing was I do love Kevin but I'm not sure I can go through all the issues in his life. I know I'm being selfish but I do have to think of myself.

8888888888888888888888

I finally got the nerve to get dressed so I threw on my old black mini-skirt and a red tank. When I got to the bar Sean and Joey were the only ones there.

"Is Kevin getting here soon?" I asked.

"Aw, I'm upset you still got a thing for my brother. Am I not good enough?" Sean said and I smirked.

"Sean, shut up. Joey, get me some tequila."

"Think you can handle it?" Joey said. Sean and I just looked at each other and cracked up.

"I forgot he wasn't there for our prom night. Alright, Jimmy gave Sean and I lots of tequila that night. Kevin took me to prom while Sean went with Lacey Anderson. We got there and Sean and I got really bored so we started doing shots. I did at least six. I ended up getting up in front of the school danced like an idiot and then admitted my utter undying attraction to Kevin. Then I preceded to fall and rip my dress wide open exposing my boobs. Kevin gave me his jacket and carried me home." Joey was cracking up. "So technically no but it always gives a great story."

"Good job Kevin." I turned around and Kevin was laughing. My face turned beat red.

"It's funny how you only admit it when you're drunk." Sean said it under his breath. I growled. I then began to hum Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.

"And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand." I sang. Sean ran away quickly. I laughed while Kevin made his way toward me. He grabbed my hand to look at the ring on my finger.

"Don't worry I already checked how much it was worth. It didn't have any real value." Kevin pushed me playfully.

"Kiss her already!" Sean yelled. Kevin and I just laughed. After a few minutes Jenny and Tommy ran in. Jenny grabbed me and pulled me to the back of the bar.

"Jenny, don't start Kevin and I realize that we love each other but we just need some time to figure out what is going to happen." I said shooting down my tequila.

"I give it three days." Jenny said walking back to Tommy. I laughed and walked back to the bar. The phone rang and Joey picked it up.

"Firecracker Lounge- Tommy, you have a call." Joey's eyes were wide to signal it was an associate. I just laughed because Joey was never played discrete well. I walked away with my glass to the jukebox. Kevin came up and leaned against it.

"Are you trying to be suave?" I asked just looking through the music. I finally found the song I wanted The Who's "My Generation." I grabbed my drink and began to dance around. I felt someone grab my hand and swirl me around I though it was Kevin but it was Sean. Sean and I continued to dance around like idiots. Jenny than got up and grabbed Kevin and danced with him. Than Jenny threw Kevin at me and we began to dance. Let me just state is that Kevin and I dancing together is the most awkward thing in the world. It wasn't until the song was almost over that we found a groove. We all went back to the bar laughing. Tommy just looked at all of us like we were crazy.

"Kevin and Sean get downstairs. Joey watch the bar and Jenny and Bridgette please go home." Jenny got up and punched Tommy in the arm. "Ow, Jenny please just go. Bridgette, take her home." I gave Tommy a death look.

"You want me to take Jenny Reilly somewhere against her will. I'm sorry but she's the only girl that can kick my ass and I'm not taking that risk." I just chugged down my drink. Tommy pulled Jenny aside and they talked. I hugged Sean and then walked to Kevin and kissed him on the cheek.

"Call me later." I said and grabbed Jenny by the hand. "Let's go." Jenny let go and kissed Tommy. Jenny and I both went to my house and just watched movies until Tommy came and picked her up.

"_What did that have to do with anything?" Another guard asked._

"_You wouldn't understand." Said the first guard getting up and leaving. She winked and Joey and left the cell._

_Joey laid down and looked up at the ceiling knowing that the one guard is the only person that ever wants to hear his stories._


	5. Can I Have A Kiss

Don't own anything. Based on "Can I Have A Kiss" by Kelly Clarkson. Review!

_

* * *

Joey looked at the priest who sat before him. Every week he begged Joey to tell him why the Donnelly's turned out so horribly. Joey never gave him a straight answer so he would just stop asking now Joey would just go on with his tale._

"_So Bebe and Kevin still were in there 'were friends' faze…"_

The day was strangely warm as the sun bore down against the old diner. Tommy stomped through the door. Slamming it behind him

"Having your period, Tommy?" I said still cleaning the counter.

"Is Jenny around?" He said.

"She went to see her father. You want anything?"

Tommy threw himself down on a chair and put his head in his hands. I went and got a coffee. I poured it and handed it to Tommy.

"Drink it and tell me what's wrong."

"Jimmy, they told me that he's not responding to treatment and they are going to kick him out if we can pay for an additional few weeks." I grabbed Tommy's hand.

"Now you're acting like Kevin. Did you not realize I'm pretty goddamn wealthy?"

"_How is she wealthy?" The female guard outside asked. The priest turned around and glared at the guard. Joey smiled not realizing she was there. She now had such an amusement for Joey's stories._

"_Her father came from this really rich family from uptown. So when he died he left her grandfathers inheritance and his."_

"_Joey, just go on.."_

Tommy took my hand out of his.

"No, Jimmy is not your problem." I just grabbed the cell phone out of my back pocket and dialed. Tommy tried to grab it out of my hand but I already called.

"Hi, this is Bridgette butler is Anna there?-Ok thank you---- Anna, hey it's Bridgette-oh, I'm fine and you?- that's great, How is Jimmy Donnelly doing?—Alright, I'll pay whatever it costs. When can I come down?—ok I'll see you then." I closed the phone and Tommy glared at me. "Didn't your mother every warn you about Irish women?"

8888888888888888888888888

I went uptown to go see Jimmy. My mother had worked at St. Anne's so I knew a few people who worked there. It was a hard place to get into but they took Jimmy without a problem. I stopped off at the front desk and dealt with all the payments the went up to see Jimmy. I had never seen him look as worse than he did now. His arm was scratched as hell, his eyes bloodshot, and he looked pale. I made my way towards him and he didn't even seem to notice.

"Jimmy?" I said. His eyes shot up to mine.

"Bebe, did Tommy send you?" He asked.

"No, I came to see you without Tommy's approval."

"You helped put me in here why the hell would you visit me?" I moved to sit down next to him. I grabbed his hand.

"Jimmy, you're practically my older brother it is hard for me not to care about you."

"Than get me out of here." I sighed knowing that there was no way Jimmy was going to give up. Luckily a woman made her way towards us.

"Jimmy, it's time for group therapy." Jimmy threw me a 'you have got to save me' look but I knew I couldn't.

"Please get better Jimmy. Not just for me but for all your brothers." I stood up and kissed Jimmy on the forehead. I wish I could have stayed with him longer but I knew he would have convinced me to get him out. All the Donnelly's had a great power of sweet talking. I gave him one last glance and walked out.

88888888888888888888888

I walked into the diner and the place was pretty packed. Jenny was working back and forth I threw my purse behind the counter and threw on my apron. I made me way down the line of people and got there food out. After about an hour of working our asses off Jenny turned to talk to me about a non-food related topic.

"How's Jimmy?" Jenny asked finishing with her last costumer.

"Not well at all. He's not responding to treatment."

"I hate that Jimmy is being so goddamn selfish. Tommy is up every night freaking out over him. How's Kevin dealing with all of this?"

"He hasn't talked to me about it." I grabbed a cup of coffee of the counter and went to dump it out.

"But you guys talk about everything. You know Kevin better than all of us."

"Jenny, how many times do I have to tell you were spending some time trying to get to know each other again." Jenny growled.

"You know each other well enough. You're just afraid to completely fall in love with him again."

"Jenny, just leave it alone. If Kevin and I are meant to be it'll happen." I walked out of the kitchen and began to wipe down the counter.

"And that's what I said." Jenny said passing me. I sighed knowing that there is no way she was going to give up on this.

"Since when did you become Ms. Root for love in all situations?" I asked.

"Since Tommy and I realized life is to short in this neighborhood to keep pushing the one you love out." She said seriously. "It scared me the first moment I thought Tommy got hurt."

"Wow, a year really has changed you." We both smirked at each other.

"You haven't even heard the bulk of it." Jenny said.

"What?" Jenny smiled brightly at me.

"Well I'm pregnant." I swear my jaw dropped.

"Is it Tommy's?" Her smile disappeared.

"It has to be. I put a lot of thought in this and he has to be. I talked to him about this and he doesn't care. He proposed." She said with a smile.

"How the hell did you two keep this from me?"

"Well I told Tommy last night and he proposed. I actually found out a few days ago. Sorry." I laughed and just hugged her. "Ok, enough of this we should be acting like one of the guys." I laughed. "Now, I can take care of this by myself so go and tell Kevin that you're done waiting and you want him now." She smiled as I got my bag.

"I hate when you're right." I said walking out the door.

"I expect to hear everything tonight." I heard Jenny yell as I was walking out the door.

I walked into the Firecracker and Kevin was sitting at the bar with no shirt on. His hair was dripping wet and clinging to his face. He looked towards me and I had to resist the urge to just….I can't even say it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said nervously.

"I wanted to talk to you and why are your clothes off?"

"Bridgette…" His thought was interrupted when an unknown man ran up the stairs and attempted to run past me. He was heading for the front door.

"Bridgette, the door." Kevin yelled.

I just kicked my foot out as the guy ran past and he fell hard against the floor I put my knee against his back to keep him down. A second later Tommy came up the stairs. I got off the guy and Tommy and Kevin pulled him off the ground. Than they proceeded to take him downstairs. God, know what there going to do to him but I know I shouldn't ask questions. I walked to the bar and sat down. Kevin ran back upstairs.

"Ok, there's a guy in your basement and you're half naked. Should I be worried?" I said sarcastically.

"That guy is just a nuisance and I'm fixing the plumbing. Nice job stopping him." He sat back down next to me.

"I've gotten good training." We both laughed than a silence eloped on our conversation. I turned to him slightly. "So what you boys do now is real. It's not like when we were kids and you would steal others kid's lunch money?" He shook his head.

"I thought I would be a lot worse off but all I really want to do is this…" I leaned over and threw my arms around Kevin's neck. I pulled him in closer until our lips met. His obliged and we had our first real kiss even though technically it was about our fifth. But for that kiss I knew he was the only person I wanted to kiss for the rest of eternity. God, I can't believe I just thought that.

"_Joey, I know that Kevin loved Bridgette but why can't you tell me what happened to her?" The priest said._

"_Loyalty, father." Joey always had a loyalty to the Donnelly's even if they didn't even think so._


	6. Fortress

I don't own anything but Bridgette, Maureen, and Daniel. I still wish I owned all of them. Than they would still be on my T.V. every week. Anyway, sorry for not updating for a while but midterms took their toll. This chapter is based on the song "Fortress" by Hope.Please Review!_

* * *

_

_The priest was gone and the guard sat their smiling. _

"_I knew Bridgette loved Kevin so much she couldn't resist." Joey smiled at her enthusiasm._

"_You've heard so many stories about me. I don't even know your name." The guard got up and put her hand through the bar._

"_Maureen Perez. Now I'll tell you more if you give me another part of the story." Joey shook her hand and fell back on his bed to continue his story._

Kevin pushed my shoulders back gently. His eyes were wide open.

"God, you're a strange girl. That lasted all of what five seconds. Am I so attractive you couldn't keep your hands off of me?" Kevin got up and stood in front of me. I got off the barstool and threw my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me.

"Is that a problem?" I said seductively. Kevin picked me up and put me on the bar. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him even closer. He began to kiss my neck but stopped when someone cleared their throat. Kevin and I just looked up and Tommy was standing there staring at us. Kevin backed away from me and I just grabbed my drink off the counter and chugged.

"Kevin, go watch him." I've never seen Kevin run so fast. When he heard the door of the basement slam Tommy finally spoke.

"You think you're ready for this? You are really young." Tommy stayed dead serious as he said it.

"Nineteen isn't that young and in this neighborhood you mature very quickly." Tommy rolled his eyes. "Tommy, you know you don't have to give me a speech." Tommy just put his face in his hands.

"You never should have hung out with us when you were younger." He said sliding his hands away. His voice sounded defeated.

"I enjoyed myself." I smirked. Tommy walked over to me and threw his arm around my shoulder. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.

"I really wonder how any of us survived without you." I smiled and pushed Tommy away.

"Enough of this mushy shit." Kevin came back up the stairs. Tommy's eyes grew wide.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tommy yelled.

"What?" Kevin asked. Tommy turned around and looked at me.

"A beautiful, intelligent girl couldn't find anybody better then my brother." Kevin walked over to me and threw his arms around me. I slid my finder against his jaw line.

"It's the same reason Jenny fell for you. The looks." Kevin slid away from me while Tommy just walked back down the stairs mumbling.

"I would like to think it would be my brains, too." I grabbed Kevin's hand and made him come back to me. He leaned down closer so his lips were a breath away.

"If that was the reason I wouldn't do this." I leaned up and caught his lips again. Kevin's hand began to lower down my back while I grabbed at his hair. Soon I was gasping for breath. Kevin was at my neck and his lips were slowly kissing my collarbone. A gasp escaped my lips again. I knew it was going to take a lot of strength the make myself stop. Kevin looked up at me and smiled. I sighed knowing that every time we slept together too soon we messed up.

"Kevin, stop." He sighed and pulled away slightly. He looked down than looked back up at me and smiled.

"Alright, how about we go out tonight?" The look in Kevin's eyes just made me smiled. He looked like a teenager who got asked to the prom but the most popular girl.

"Are you asking me on a date?" I asked. He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. I jumped and walked to the door. "Pick me up at 8:00." The door closed behind and I heard Kevin calling for Tommy. I couldn't help but giggle.

Before going to the diner I went to my house and picked up some clothes for the date than made my way back to work. Jenny had her elbows on the counter and was resting her chin against her hands. Her pale skin looked even paler. She looked flushed. Normally Jenny would just be finding some way to work.

"Jenny, are you ok?" Her eyes shot up to me.

"No, I'm fine." I knew Jenny wasn't feeling well because she hadn't asked me about Kevin.

"Jenny, just go upstairs and sleep." Jenny just nodded her head. Yes, she was sick because she didn't give me a fight. "I'll get you up before I go on my date with Kevin." Jenny turned.

"Date?" Jenny asked.

"Yes, Kevin actually asked me on date." I smiled as Jenny yawned.

"Go, I'll wake you up before I leave." I threw my bag of clothes underneath the counter and got to work.

A few hours passed when I closed the diner down to get ready. I found Jenny passed out on her couch. I smirked and got ready. I brushed out my long crimson hair and threw on a red top and black miniskirt. It wouldn't be complete without my long boots. Knowing Kevin we would not be going anywhere fancy. I walked over to Jenny and shook her lightly. She didn't even stir. I chuckled and grabbed my cell phone. I pressed my speed dial to call Tommy and he picked up right away.

"Bebe, what's wrong?" Tommy said nervously.

"Nothing, I just think you should come and take care of your girlfriend. She's sleeping." I whispered.

"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes. Isn't Kevin picking you up soon?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, now I have to go. See you in a few." I closed the phone and made my way downstairs. I heard knocking right away. Kevin was standing at the window with a bouquet of roses. I made my way to the door and opened it. Kevin kissed my cheek and handed me the roses. I tried not to laugh but I started cracking up.

"What?" He said seriously. I heard someone cracking up behind me. I turned and Jenny stood their laughing. I grimaced knowing that she was defiantly going to make Kevin feel self-conscious. Why couldn't she just stay asleep?

"Nice Kevin." Jenny said between laughs. Kevin's eyes went down to mine.

"Did I screw up?" I brought the flowers to the counter.

"No, you didn't it's just I'm not a flowers kind of girl." I smiled and pulled Kevin closer. "It's ok though." I turned to Jenny. "Put them in some water and Tommy's on his way." I gave her a scowling look and turned back to Kevin. I grabbed his hand and walked out of the diner. "Don't listen to Jenny their lovely." Kevin and I walked to the subway and just got on the train that Kevin wanted to take. I was suspicious since we usually don't tend to go uptown. Kevin refused to tell me where we were going until we made it to 42nd street. We hit the street when I finally questioned why we were here.

"What are we doing here?" I asked suspiciously.

"I thought we could go to Toys R Us and just walk around Times Square and get some dinner. I wanted to do something sort of romantic." Kevin said awkwardly. I smiled brightly and just jumped on Kevin and kissed him. I pulled away and he looked at me bewildered.

"What the hell was that about?" I kissed him again.

"Just shut up." I said with a smile.

Kevin and I had more fun in Toys R Us than most of the kids their. We even tortured a few tourists for the hell of it. I had more fun than I have had in the past few years. It really hit me hard to know that Kevin would do something out of the ordinary just to keep us together. Most likely Tommy helped planned it but it definitely had a Kevin touch to it. He even bought me a humongous stuffed penguin. Dorky, I know but it was adorable. Everyday I was falling more and more in love with Kevin.

When we finished our date we went to the Firecracker. When we got to the bar Sean and Joey were listening to the Mets game while Tommy and Jenny were cuddled in a booth.

"What the hell is that?" Joey asked motioning towards the penguin.

"It's a present." I sat down with Jenny and Tommy. Joey and Sean started cracking up. Kevin ran after both of them and put Joey in a chokehold. After Joey surrender Kevin let go. He than joined us in the booth.

"Who's winning?" Kevin asked.

"How much did you bet?" I asked Kevin.

"What?" he said innocently.

"Don't lie how much?"

"Alright 500." Tommy threw his head onto Jenny's shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I swear to god Kevin if you don't quit you're getting treatment." Tommy said. Kevin just gave me a look.

"Not my fault." I kissed him lightly I looked down at my watch and realized how late it was. I pushed Kevin out of the booth and grabbed my things.

"Well everybody, I have to go home and sleep because I get to see my nieces tomorrow." I bent down and kissed Kevin again and left.

The next day I made my way uptown to my brother's apartment. Thank God he wasn't home. I didn't want to hear another speech about how I was idiot for coming back to New York. It was my decision just leave it alone. I picked up Cathy and Samantha and brought them downtown. I took them to the park than I took them back to my house and taught them how to cook. After the day was over I took them back uptown to go home. Daniel was waiting for us outside.

"Can I speak to you?" I nodded and kissed the girls goodbye. He brought them upstairs and than came back down.

"Caleb has been calling no stop and why haven't you returned my phone calls." He asked.

"No, he needs to realize we are over and that I hate you." I felt my blood boil.

"That's not very nice considering I'm giving you my car." Daniel threw car keys at me and pointed to a brand new Altima Coop.

"Is this a bribe?" I asked.

"I got a new car from my boss and I didn't need this one." I looked at Daniel reluctantly. I really did care for him but he made it so easy to hate him. We didn't always hate each other. It wasn't until he started dating Jenny that we stopped being so close.

"_Jenny dated Daniel?" She said._

"_Yeah, that's what pulled Jimmy and Daniel apart. When they were younger they were best friends. He cared about him like a brother it wasn't until Jenny was a sophomore and Daniel was finishing high school. Jimmy had already dropped by then. Daniel and Jenny became close and asked her out. Needless to say everyone was pissed especially Tommy, Jimmy, and Bridgette. Everyone assumed Tommy was going to be pissed off the most but only Bridgette and Jimmy knew that this would ruin jimmy's friendship. Bridgette was the only one of us that knew Jimmy had a thing for Jenny." Joey continued on with his story._

For once I actually believed him. So I took the car and drove to the Firecracker. When I got there I repeatedly slammed against the horn. After a few minutes a really pissed off Sean, Kevin, and Tommy ran out. Their eyes grew wide when they saw the car. I jumped out and stood next to it.

"Who the hell did you rob this from?" Sean asked.

"Daniel gave it to me." Tommy grimaced. "Something about trying to make amends for all the fucked up things he's done." I locked the doors and went inside the bar. They boys followed, too.

"Maybe he should buy me and Jimmy a car, too." Tommy said under his breath.

Kevin came up behind me and grabbed me. He placed his hands on my hips and kissed my neck. I smiled until Tommy began to yell at us to cut it out. Kevin let go of me and we both jumped on the barstools. Tommy handed me a drink instinctively and went back into the conversation they were having before I came.

"What the hell are we going to do with him?" Sean asked. I knew he was referring to the guy in their basement.

"Nothing, we're going to keep him here until we get an answer from his boss. Nicky gave him an ultimatum of five days. We are only on day two." Tommy looked at me. "Bridgette can you do me a favor and watch the bar for a few minutes while we…" I just nodded quickly and the boys went downstairs. The phone rang a few seconds later.

"Firecracker Lounge." I answered. Joey walked into the bar right at that second. He sat down in front of me.

"I want to talk to Tommy Donnelly right now." I smirked. The voice sounded angry which made me realize that Tommy was getting his way.

"May I ask who this is?" I said sweetly.

"You stupid fucking bitch put Tommy on." The voice finally registered in my brain.

"Earl, how dare you fuckin' talk to me that way. I used to baby-sit you're goddamn kids." The voice became very quiet.

"Bridgette? I'm sorry. Can I please speak to Tommy?" I smiled and looked at Joey who looked confused. I pulled the phone away from me. "Can you get Tommy and tell him Earl's on the phone?" Joey nodded and ran down the stairs. I put the phone back to my ear. "He'll be up in a minute. How are Molly, Shane, and Kelly?"

"They're great." I could tell how awkward he sounded. Tommy came up.

"Well goodbye Earl please give your family my love." I smiled at Tommy who just smirked at me. I passed the phone to him and skipped to the pool table. I threw a stick at Joey and we both began to play pool. Kevin came up a few minutes later and threw his arm around my waist.

"One second, Kevin." I hit the eight ball and I started to dance around. I turned to Kevin who was laughing. I kissed him lightly. "Let's go to my house and I'll cook you some dinner." We grabbed our stuff and said goodbye to everyone.

I made Kevin pork chops and some macaroni and cheese. We ate and I just began to clean up. When I was cleaning the dishes Kevin threw his arms around my waist and began to kiss my neck like he did in the bar. I turned around and put my arms around his neck. His lips moved up to my jaw. I pulled his body closer to mine than pushed my lips against his. I pulled away and turned off the faucet. When I turned back around I jumped up into Kevin's arms and wrapped my legs against his waist. He smiled and began to walk to the stairs. I jumped off him and we ran to my bed. I slammed the door shut and threw him on the bed. I began to trail kisses down his neck. With one swift motion he pinned me to the bed. We both tugged at each other's clothes. When he was done He smirked sexily and I just faded into complete pleasure.

_Maureen smiled._

"_Ok, now it's your turn." Joey said. She sighed and smiled._

"_I'm boring. I grew up on Staten Island. Hated school but went anyway and got a job as a cop. Which led me here." She smiled and looked back up at Joey. "Now that's all so I want more stories." Joey laughed at her persistence and continued._

* * *

REVIEW!!!! 


	7. If I Fell

Don't own anything but the Butlers. I'm shocked I'm actually getting two chapters up in a short amount of time. Hopefully, this lasts. Anyway, regular italics is just Joey's commentary while the bold italics is a flash back. Based on the song "If I Fell" By the Beatles. Please Review!_

* * *

_

_A man threw a case file at Joey. He looked familiar. Joey looked at him closer and realized he was the District Attorney._

"_Joey, I want to know who killed Bridgette." Joey's eyes shot up._

"_Woah, killed?" He said._

"_Are you telling me she's not dead?" He asked. Joey's eyes went down to the ground._

"_What you got to know about Bridgette is how she fell in love with Kevin…."_

I awoke to the heat of the sun streaming across my face. I opened my eyes and turned slightly and found Kevin holding me protectively. I smiled remembering the events of last night. I moved myself closer to Kevin and he just held me tighter. It was like when he first held me like this when I was only six years old and he was eight.

_**The day was cloudy and it was raining every few minutes so the Donnelly's and Bridgette had to play inside. They were playing battleship. It was Tommy, Jimmy, and Daniel on one side while Bebe, Kevin, and Sean were on the other. Tommy' team only had one Battleship left. Bridgette was very intelligent for her age so she was telling Kevin and Sean were they should send missiles. **_

"_**Ok, B16" Bebe said with confidence. The boys had horror on their face.**_

"_**You won!" Tommy said surprised. She smiled. Kevin and Sean kissed both her cheeks. **_

"_**I was beaten by a six-year old." Jimmy said.**_

_**Jimmy went and picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Her eyes closed in pain and she screamed out in agony. She began to cry. Bobby walked in that second.**_

"_**Jimmy, put her down." Bobby screamed. Helen already was rushing out of her room. Jimmy let her down gently.**_

"_**I didn't do anything to her." Jimmy said. Bridgette nodded.**_

_**Bobby lowered himself down to her level.**_

"_**Then what hurts?" Bridgette lifted up her shirt a little to reveal a bruise on her abdomen. Helen gasped and dragged Bobby away. But he turned to Daniel. "Daniel, can you come with me?" Bridgette was still crying so all the boys sat next to her and tried to comfort her by making funny faces. She smiled a little until Bobby came back inside and took her and Daniel home. Bobby took her father aside and gave him a talking too. She didn't know what they had said. She prayed her daddy won't be mad.**_

_**That night Bridgette woke up to the sound of screaming. Daniel ran in her room and held her. The screaming didn't stop. Bridgette jumped off the bed and dialed the only phone number she really knew. The phone rang and Tommy answered it.**_

"_**Tommy, Mommy won't stop screaming…." Only a few minutes later did Huey Farrell and Bobby Donnelly appeared. Helen was close behind. They took Bebe's father away and Helen grabbed the kids and Bebe's mom. They went back to the Donnelly's apartment. Daniel was put in Jimmy's and Tommy's room and Bridgette was put in Sean's and Kevin's room. Bridgette kept crying so Kevin slipped in next to her and held her all night. That was the first time Bridgette ever grew true feelings from Kevin.**_

I turned my head slightly to the clock. 7:30 blared in red. I groaned but I knew Jenny needed me. I moved Kevin's arms from me and got up from the bed pulling a sheet with me. As soon as I got up I felt the sheet being ripped from me. I looked down and saw Kevin smiling over my naked body. I snatched the sheet up again and wrapped it around myself.

"I need to go to work." This time I felt hands on my hips pulling me down on the bed. I groaned when Kevin put his body on top of me.

"Your are the one who is going to apologize to-" Kevin cut me off by kissing me. His kiss was urgent and his tongue pried open my lips. When he pulled away he went at my neck. It took so much strength to pull away from him. I pushed him off and went to my dresser and pulled some clothes out. I made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. I locked the door knowing that Kevin would try something. When I got out Kevin wasn't even dressed. I began to fix my hair when Kevin finally got up. I pulled my hair back into a tight bun and straightened myself out. I turned and looked at Kevin. I moved closer to him. His back was turned away from me so I just threw my arms around his waist. I kissed the back of his neck and just held onto him. Kevin turned around and kissed the top of my head.

"Let's go before Jenny kicks my ass." I said.

When Jenny kicked me out of the diner I walked to the bar to meet up with Kevin. When I opened the bar door there were at least fifteen people in the bar. Tommy, Kevin, and Sean looked at me with horror. I looked around and I knew half the guys there. They were mostly Irish mob.

"Bridgette, go downstairs and check the stock." The way he looked I knew I should go. I motioned towards the door but Tommy shook his head lightly. I took a deep breath and walked downstairs. When I got down there I slammed the basement door shut to pretend as if I was in their. I positioned myself on the steps to hear what they were saying.

"..I don't care, we either get a deal or you can say goodbye to him." I heard Tommy say sternly. I have never heard Tommy sound so scary. I felt myself give a shutter. At that moment I realized the guy was no longer there. That horrified me.

"You either make the deal or we can make one for you." I heard a husky voice say. I didn't recognize it at all. After his comment I heard shuffles of barstools. I knew the meeting was over. I grabbed at the door and brought it behind me. A few seconds later Kevin came downstairs to get me.

"Come on." He looked serious. I followed him up when two guys were still in the bar. They must have been Italian because of their dark eyes and dark hair. Tommy's was huddled with him while Sean and Kevin came near me.

"You are going to get a speech." Sean whispered to me. I rolled my eyes and just sat down on a barstool. Tommy stopped talking and turned to me. The two Italians came towards me. Kevin and Sean attempted to jump in front of me nonchalantly. I just stood up. I heard Tommy mutter under her breath.

"Vinny." One of them said while he held out his hand. I shook it and turned to the other Italian. I reached out my hands but instead of shaking it he kissed my knuckle. I swear the tension in the room could have been cut with a knife.

"I'm Bridgette Butler" I said trying to not sound freaked out. He pulled away.

"Nicky Cottero." He replied. The name registered in my brain. I turned to Sean who nodded slightly to me. He was the one who nearly killed Sean and now he was arm and arm with the Donnelly's. Kevin threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in protectively. I saw a smile creep on Nicky's lips. I saw Tommy's eyes hit mine. He came closer to Nicky and began to escort them out of the bar. I sat down again and leaned over the bar to get myself a drink. Sean and Kevin sat on both sides of me. I knew it was to protect me but I ignored it. I saw Tommy talking to Nicky quietly. I watched closing reading their lips which I didn't even need to. I knew he was threatening him over me. I rolled my eyes and just began to drink. I heard the door slam and I heard a barstool crash against the wall. I turned slightly but I didn't need to. I knew that Tommy was flipping out.

"Tommy, would you calm the fuck down." I yelled. I looked at Sean and Kevin for support but they were examining their drinks. They were never ones to stand up to Tommy. I growled.

"Now they know who you are." He yelled back. I turned around and got up.

"Are you kidding me? Most of them are neighborhood guys and I even babysat a few of their kids." Tommy just slammed himself into a booth.

"You are getting way too involved." Tommy said. I saw Kevin and Sean nodding. I slapped both of them in the head.

"Sooner you realize I'm not going anywhere the better. Come on, I can be an asset. Look, I was pushed up a grade, graduated when I was seventeen, and got admissions to N.Y.U. and Yale. I can help." I slammed my glass down on the counter and I got up from the bar. Tommy got up too and walked towards me. He grabbed my forearms and forced me to look at him.

"This is really not a game. What happened yesterday was nothing. These guys now are familiar with you. You know what they did to Sean and they can do the same to you. To them you are just a bargaining chip." Tommy let go of me.

"Tommy, you're going to give yourself an aneurysm." I grabbed my purse off the counter and walked out. I heard someone running behind me. I turned slightly and saw Kevin at the corner of my eye. He put his arm around my waist and continued to walk with me. We didn't say a word the whole time. I didn't want him, too. I knew they were protecting me but it wasn't like I was six again. Maybe, I just need a night to think.

I woke up earlier than usual because Kevin rolled over and handed me my cell phone. I growled. Kevin and his goddamn stupid nervousness over not picking up the phone. I snatched it out of his hand and the caller I.D. read that it was Tommy. I flipped it open.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"Is Kevin their?" Tommy asked.

"And good morning to you. Yes, he is here." I said with an attitude.

"Don't be pissed off. You know-"

"I get it Tommy. I'm not mad. I'm exhausted." I said.

"Tonight, Can you do me a favor? I need someone to watch the bar at 6:00 because no way am I trusting Joey alone."

"You know I will as long as Jenny knows." I yawned.

"Just send Kevin to the apartment. We need to talk and Bebe just be careful." I shut the phone and hit Kevin in the head.

"If you ever wake me again because of a phone call you will never be allowed in this house again." I kissed Kevin lightly and got up to get dressed.

I found out the reason I needed to watch the bar was to be to go to a meeting with the Irish. I was left in charge while Joey was my helper. Since we had nothing to do we both just cleaned the bar. The night was slowing and we just sat their drinking when three Irish guys came in. I recognized them because they were Dokey's old friends. Joey and I just looked at each other.

"What can I get you to drink?" I said trying to keep my voice calm. Joey walked in front of me as if he was trying to protect me. I couldn't even laugh because I was just too scared. Joey turned to me and I motioned towards the bar. Joey walked behind it but when I did I felt someone yank out my hair. I heard Joey yell but I couldn't look at him. I was close to the bar so I grabbed a bottle from the bar. I slammed it across the head of my attacker. I felt it shatter against his head but I didn't have enough time to relish on what I had done. I ran behind the bar and got the gun that the boys hid. I turned to Joey who was trying to fight off the two guys. I didn't even think I just fired off two shots at the guys. Joey just turned to me and nodded. He went down and grabbed the other gun. After he got it I saw horror was over his face. He threw me down and shot at the guy who I hit in the head with the bottle. I got up and just looked around. I could hear Joey breathing as heavily as I was. I looked around with horror. Blood was all over the floor. My mind can't even comprehend what had happened. I thought for a moment what had happened and why it had. Shit, Jenny.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Jenny's number. After a moment of ringing I heard her voice.

"Reilly's diner."

"Are you ok?" I asked nervously.

"Bridgette? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just be safe." I slammed the phone down and looked at Joey.

"Go downstairs get a mop, bucket, and bleach, and some trash bags." Joey nodded and ran down. I took a deep breath and picked up the phone again. This time I needed to call Tommy. It rang a few times which made me nervous but he answered.

"Hello?"

"Tommy, did you make a deal?" I asked.

"No, they didn't show."

"Come to the bar, it's an emergency."

"Bebe, what's wrong? What happened? Are you?"

"I'm fine and so is Joey. Just please." I put the phone down. Joey brought up everything I needed. I just got on the floor and began to scrub all the blood away. I couldn't feel anything my whole body was numb. I looked down at my hands and there were shaking but I couldn't even feel them.

What felt like an eternity (which really was only a few minutes) Tommy, Kevin, and Sean ran through the door. I looked up slightly but not changing my position on the floor. Joey was next to me moving the bodies but dropped them. I saw Tommy turn and crash his knuckles against the doorframe. I just put my eyes to the floor and continued to cry. I felt someone put their hands on my waist and try to pull me up but I fought them away.

"We can't use my car. We have to get them out of here soon." I said feeling my voice shaking. I turned slightly and saw Kevin kneeling next to me.

"Bridgette…" He said softly. He put his hands on my waist again and this time he succeeded in getting me up. He sat me down on a barstool and pulled me closer to him. As soon as I felt his body press against mine I began to sob. Tears just kept streaming out of me. After a few seconds I couldn't even breathe. He pulled away and held my hand.

"Breathe." He said firmly. I took a series of deep breath until my breathing became normal. I saw Tommy say something to Sean and he ran out. Tommy came over to me and Kevin moved away. Tommy pulled me into him.

"Thank God, you're safe." He whispered to me. He let go and I looked at all the blood on the floor. Blood I had spilt. I committed the worse sin of all. I grabbed the small cross that hung on my neck and began to pray every prayer I could think of. Usually I wouldn't wear this cross but for some reason today I did. I looked up at Tommy and Kevin who were just watching me with sorrowful eyes. I pushed them away and got back on the floor and scrubbed. I tried to make it all disappear as if never happened. I heard them walk towards the bodies and pull them towards the alleyway. Sean ran into the bar and nodded at Tommy. They all were bringing the bodies out while I just continued to clean. After they were done Tommy and Sean walked in.

"Bridgette, come on. Joey and Sean will finish up." He helped me get off the ground and I just followed him out the door. Outside waiting was an old beat up van. Knowing Tommy he had used a car like this before to get rid of another body. Kevin was in the front seat next to Tommy. He saw me and his eyes shot to Tommy.

"No way! She's not coming with us." I saw fear flash before his eyes. I just opened the car door and slid on Kevin's lap. He put his arms around me protectively.

"She needs to do this. Like we all have." Tommy said coldly. Kevin just sighed and nuzzled his face into my neck. I didn't realize I was still shaking until Kevin began rubbing my arms. I stopped him and he just rested them around my waist. We drove for what felt like an eternity until we reached an empty warehouse. They way the boys looked I knew they had done this before. They parked and began to take out the bodies one by one. After that was done they placed them all in barrels but they were too large for them. Tommy went back in the car and pulled out a sledgehammer. He and Kevin began to take off their clothes until they were in their underwear. Normally in this situation I would be laughing but right now I was horrified.

"Do you have any clothes similar to that?" I looked down at what I was wearing. I had on a plain whit t-shirt that was now smeared with blood, plain pair of jeans, and old beat up converse. I nodded weakly.

"Alright, take your clothes off." He said strongly. I started to take off my shoes and clothes. He motioned towards me and handed me the sledgehammer. He didn't say anything but I knew what he wanted me to do. He pulled away from me and he bent down and held the dead man's legs. I walked backwards.

"I can't." I said.

"Do it." Tommy said coldly. I began to shake more violently. I lifted it above my head and crashed it against the dead man's legs. Blood splattered against my face and Tommy's but I didn't look away. With every hit it just poured over every inch of my body. I stopped when Kevin threw his arms around my waist.

"That's enough." He whispered in my ear. He took the sledgehammer from my hand and passed it to Tommy. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me back to the van. I sat down and he went back to help Tommy with the rest. I looked down at all the blood on myself. I was a monster. A murderer. I wasn't myself anymore. Now I really know how the boys feel. I touched my cross lightly again and prayed that I could still save my soul and theirs.

_Joey sighed heavily. _

"_That was the day Bridgette got into this whole mess and the day she lost her soul."_

_The D.A. looked dumbfounded._

"_Are you telling me that Bridgette was part of these murders?" Joey didn't say a word and just looked down onto the floor. He just said the thing he was never supposed to._


	8. Same Mistake

My school has been consuming my life. I've been living there even on my vactaion. It sucks being in shows but at the same time I love it. I really don't know when the next chapet is going to be up. Hopefully I can finsih this fanfic by June but at the rate i'm going it's probaly going to be early December. Well I hope somebody enjoys it. This chapter is based on the song "Same Mistake" by James Blunt. Review!_

* * *

_

_Joey sat with his hands in his face. Maureen wanted to go and comfort him but she knew it was inappropriate. _

"_Joey?" He looked up and smiled at her. He got up and came closer to the bars._

"_The thing about Bridgette was that she was so much weaker than all of us. She couldn't deal with the thought of taking someone's life. Even if that meant losing her own." Maureen smiled knowing that Joey felt well enough to go on with his story._

I didn't get a wink of sleep that night and my head was still pounding. They way that guy pulled at my hair I felt as if my scalp was being ripped off. Thank God he couldn't do anymore damage. Ignoring my head I got up early to go to mass before work. I walked in at the tail end of the mass but I didn't care. I needed to just pray until I felt some sort of forgiveness for what I had done. I brought my grandmother's rosary with me because it gave me some comfort. I really didn't want Kevin to come with me. I knew he would just be overbearing. I don't need that at this moment. All I need is forgiveness. I slipped into the pew all the way in the back. The church was all clear except for a woman sweeping in the front. I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder.

"What is your sin?" The priest asked. I smiled at him.

"How did you know?" He slid down next to me.

"I've known you since you were a child. I know when you have sinned." I laughed. Usually priests wouldn't say things like that but he grew up with us. All of us used to go to mass together but as soon as we got older we stopped going. Now when ever we were in trouble we went to the church. Let's just say we're not the greatest Catholics.

"Father, I have committed a mortal sin." I said gravely and squeezing my rosaries tighter.

"What happened?" I looked up at the woman cleaning to make sure she wasn't listening.

"I've murdered two people." I whispered. The priest was silent and turned away.

"Are you sorry?" He turned back around saying.

"Yes." I said taking a deep breath.

"God can forgive only the most sorrowful. Do you vow to never take another life again?" I stopped a moment. Could I make that promise that I wasn't sure I could keep? A promise to God?

"Yes" I said lightly. He patted my back and got up. I sighed and began to pray.

After church I went straight to the diner. When I got their Tommy and Sean were talking to Jenny. When I walked in her eyes averted to me. I just looked away and put my apron on. They all came closer to me.

"Where did you go this morning?" Sean asked. Kevin must have called them.

"Mass." I said lightly. Tommy's eyes went to Jenny. She looked at Tommy than looked back at me.

"You don't have to work today." She said. I just shook my head.

"I'm fine." I said grabbing a menu to pass it to a customer who just walked in. I saw them all whispering to one another. I just rolled my eyes and went to cook. After a minute I felt my phone vibrate. Kevin, the speed dial read. I sighed and opened the phone.

"I'm at work." I said.

"Maybe, that's not such a good idea." He said.

"Kevin, I'm fine. How many times do I have to tell people that?" I growled.

"Bridgette, please come back home."

I slammed my phone shut. God, I felt nauseous after that call. For one second I wasn't replaying that memory in my brain than Kevin had to mess that all up. My mind just went back to last night. Pulling the trigger and seeing all that blood. Blood seeping out of there skin and on too mine. I shuddered at the thought and threw off my apron. "Jenny, I need to get out of here for a while." I grabbed my bag without mentioning another word. I know Sean and Tommy followed me home but I didn't care.

I went back home and Kevin was sitting on the couch. I sighed and jumped down next to him. He threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

"Kevin, I love you." I said. I didn't look up at him but I felt his body shift. I felt him move my body to make me look at him.

"I love you, too." He pulled me closer and kissed me lightly. He pulled away and looked at me. He wiped a tear from my cheek. Damn it, I was crying again. "You needed to do it. It was self defense." I wiped my eyes.

"You're sounding more and more like Tommy everyday." I laughed lightly. I got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. I grabbed out a bottle of vodka and walked back into the living room. I sat down again and undid the cap.

"Let's just drink." I said. Kevin just grabbed the bottle from me.

"It doesn't help." He grabbed the cap and walked into the kitchen. I sighed and just laid my head against the back of the couch. He walked back in and sat down. He knew how horrible I felt and how destructive I can be when I feel bad.

"How about you move in with us for a while?" Kevin said suddenly.

"What?"

"Move in with me." He gave me a goofy smile. I resisted the urge to punch him.

I nodded weakly. I knew if I fought him he was going to win. I swear sometimes I really hate the Donnelly's.

I moved in with Kevin the next day. For the first few weeks I didn't mind the overbearing but as soon as I felt like my normal self (which consisted of no more nightmares) all I wanted to do was kill Kevin. Every second of everyday someone was watching me. Mostly Kevin. I even wasn't allowed to stay in the Firecracker by myself anymore. They got more and more worried that someone was going to try and attack me again. It annoying as all hell but it made me spend more time with Jenny. She was getting bigger and bigger every second. She was only about 5 months pregnant. I helped her redecorate her father's old room into a nursery. Tommy slowly moved in with her,too. I was glad to help but I got bored. Kevin and I were distanced. We would go days without ever having a full conversation. I think he didn't know what to say me. Sure, we would have sex and we did practically live together but it wasn't the same. I was just too afraid to open up about what happened.

The day was early at the diner. Jenny and I were taking turns with shifts. I had the morning while she had the evening. The phone rang in the silent diner. I picked it up and put it to my ear.

"Reilly's Diner."

"Is this Bridgette Butler?" A husky voice asked. My heart beat harder in my chest.

"Yes." I said my voice barley even making a sound. I swear every time any phone rang I became a nervous wreck.

"This is Nicky Cottero." The boy's business associate. "I thought you should know that your boyfriend Kevin is getting over his head in betting and since his brother won't take care of it. Hopefully you will." The line went dead. I curled my fist and hit it into the counter.

"Damn it, Kevin." I said. I looked up and saw Jenny standing in the doorway. She motioned towards the door. I sighed and grabbed my purse. I ran out to my car and just drove.

A few blocks away from the Firecracker I saw Kevin talking to some shady Italian guy. I parked my car a block away so Kevin wouldn't notice. I saw the guy threw him up against the wall and throw a punch. I cringed but I saw Kevin throw a punch at him. He walked away and threw something at him that looked like money. Kevin started to walk away and I saw the guy on the floor get up and go towards Kevin. I sped the car up and stop the car in front of Kevin.

"Get in." I yelled. Kevin jumped in the car and we sped off.

"Where the hell did you come from?"

"Nice Kevin I just saved your ass and you just say 'what the hell?'." I didn't even look at him. He put his hand on my thigh because he saw I was shaking again. I turned the corner of the Firecracker and just kept driving.

"I have to go back." I just sighed. Couldn't Kevin realize I wanted to go away?

"Kevin for five minutes can we go somewhere else." Kevin grew silent and just looked straight ahead. I put my hand in my purse and pulled out my cell phone. I hit the speed dial and called Tommy.

"Bridgette, please tell me..."

"I'm fine. I just want you to know Kevin is not going to be at the meeting." I heard him gasp. I knew what he was thinking. Goddamn pervert.

"Oh god, did you have to tell me that-"

"You know sometimes I really hate you Tommy. Just don't worry about us. And we'll be there later tonight..."

"Good, I don't want to worry about the both of you." I shut the phone closed and looked at Kevin.

"What?" He asked.

"You just drive me crazy how one second you can fuck up everything and the next second you act like everything is fine. Who was that guy? And why the fuck is Nicky Cottero calling me and telling me about your betting problem?" I parked the car. We were at the South Street Seaport. Kevin punched the dashboard. "Do not fucking hit my car!"

"Why is he calling you?" I looked over at Kevin.

"Maybe, because you're screwing everything up. And maybe you have a goddamn problem." He looked over at me.

"No I don't." He said.

"You suck at lying." I got out of the car and started walking towards the pier. The shops were busy and the pier was crowded with tourists. All they wanted was to bask in the spring weather of New York.

"Bridgette…" Kevin said coming up behind me. I could feel him push his weight against my back. I just looked out to the Brooklyn Bridge. I just looked at how beautiful the clouds and the water looked. It was like a painting. Why can't life be that easy and beautiful? I still felt Kevin close to me. I turned around sharply and put my hands on his chest.

"Stop lying for once. How much do you owe? And don't tell me just one persons bet. I wanna know everyone you owe." My anger was rising with every word. I saw his eyes flicker back and forth. I knew he was counting. He stopped and looked at me.

"You don't want to know." I grabbed Kevin's hand. I kissed his cheek and he sighed. He couldn't avoid it anymore. "20,000." I let go of him and walked away. "See I told you, you didn't want to know. Come on, Bebe." I turned back around and slapped him. He slide his hand across his cheek.

"I'm sorry. Kevin, you're going to have to stop. I'll pay off your debt whether you like it or not. I love you, Kev. And I never want something like what happened that night ever too…." Kevin cut my off by kissing me. I pulled away and pushed him back. I felt my eyes stinging. I hadn't even realized that I was crying.

"Bridgette, I wouldn't talk about liars. You told me you were fine but every night you're screaming in your sleep." I became silent and just looked down at the ground. He put his palm underneath my chin and pushed it up until I met his eyes. He leaned in and kissed me lightly. I pulled away from him. He was not getting out of this one.

"Kevin, promise me you won't bet again?" His eyes flickered again. I pulled away and walked back to the car. He ran after me and spun me around. His eyes were intense which made me know that he wasn't going to lie.

"I promise." I kissed Kevin again and ran down the pier. He followed and grabbed me. His hands slid down my waist and he turned me around him. He picked me up allowing my feet to dangle and threw me on his back. I started to kick and scream and he just walked back to the car. Everyone around us was looking at us like we were crazy. He put me down and I hit him in the chest. I slid down into the car and started the engine. Kevin was making his way around the back of the car so I put the car in gear and started driving. I kept looking back to watch Kevin run towards the car. I stopped the car short and saw Kevin fall against the back. I laughed as Kevin limped back to the car. He opened the door and slid in.

"That wasn't funny." My smile wasn't going to break. I enjoy revenge.

"It was a little bit funny." I put the car in gear again and drove off. I looked at Kevin again.

"Kevin, what happened after I..." My voice trailed off. He knew I was talking about the Irish.

"He was pissed but he didn't think you did it. We ended up making a deal." Kevin turned his head and looked out the window. I felt a pang in my stomach. He was lying again. I stopped the car.

"Tell me the truth." I screamed. He put his face in his hands and slide them down.

"Bebe, they Irish are pissed and we don't know if they are gonna make a deal. They still don't know you had anything to do with there deaths." I sighed and put my hand in Kevin's. He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my palm. I sighed and turned the car into the Firecracker's alleyway. Kevin got out of the car and I just sighed. I followed and walked into the bar. Sean was in a booth and Tommy and Joey were sitting at the bar. Tommy turned around when he heard the door slam. He looked at me and jumped off the barstool. He came towards me and grabbed my forearm and dragged me down to the basement.

"Tommy, what the hell?" He put his hand over my mouth.

"Kevin had a run in today with..."

"I know. I saw it and I'm taking care of it." I pulled my arm away from Tommy. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You keep making the same mistake Bebe."

"How?"

"You keep trying to protect Kevin and that's what keeps getting you in trouble." I rolled my eyes and looked away. The truth is Tommy's right. I love Kevin so much I'm protecting him more than I protect myself.

"We'll get him help but after that he's going to have to take care of himself. And I won't give him the money." I said strongly but I was cringing inside. Tommy pulled me into him and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't try to be the savior Bebe. You're too young to take on that task." I sighed as he pulled away and went back upstairs. I moved closer to the table and just sat down. I put my head between my legs because of the dizzy and nausea feeling that was rising. I don't know if I can change. I don't know if I can not save Kevin or any of the boys. I don't even know if I can save my soul. I'm done. I'm always going to be making the same mistakes and I don't know how I'm going to stop.

"_Is Bridgette really not going to help Kevin?" Her green eyes lighting up with intensity._

_Joey smirked at her and continued to speak._

"_Bridgette was the kind of girl who couldn't help but be a savior. Let's call it a Tommy complex…"_

* * *

Hopefully in the next few weeks I can get a new chapter and my Boondock Saint Oneshot up. And possibly the first chapter of my short Boondock Saint fanfic. So much to do so little time and reviews make me write faster!!! 


	9. Career Opportunities

I am now off offically for two weeks so I'm hoping I'll be able to upload a couple of chapters. Maybe even a few other stories.Well I can hope anyway hope you enjoy the new chapter and review it.� This chapter is based on the song "Career Opportunities" by The Clash but remade by Dropkick Murphys. 

* * *

I finally got the nauseous feeling under control and tried to stand. I started to stagger my way towards the stairs. The door slammed open and I heard footsteps. I back away from the stairs and hit the floor. I brought my knees to my chest. I'll move when I know who it is.

"Earl." My breath became ragged again. I know Tommy said it loud to warn me. 

"Tommy." I heard a barstool come out. "Look, I'm here on business. No more threats the Irish and the Italian want this wrapped up." Italian. Shit, they were against Tommy too?

"So what are you proposing?"

"Fifty for your whole family and I mean whole. We don't need Jimmy pulling any shit." I heard the screech of my barstool. I swear my heart was going a mile a minute.

"That can be done. So we have deal?" Tommy said.

"Yes." I heard another shuffle and the door slamming. I walked up the stairs cautiously and felt someone put their hand round me. I almost screamed but Sean just threw himself in front of me to calm me.

"You need to leave." He grabbed my forearm and dragged me out to my car. I got into the driver seat and I noticed Sean jumping in the passenger seat.

"Where the hell do you think your going?" He smirked at me.

"I was hoping you can make me some dinner." I hit his arm and drove away.

Instead of going back to the Donnelly's I went back to my house. We grabbed some groceries on the way home so I could actually make Sean some home cooked dinner. 

We ended up just drinking and eating. Sean and I hadn't been able to spend much time together since I've gotten back. 

"Sean does Nadine know?" My voice was hoarse saying those words. I don't really know Nadine all that well but on the very few occasions I met her she didn't seem to have thick skin like Jenny and I do. He just looked at me not really knowing what to say.

"She only knows that we dabble in illegal things."

"That's putting it mildly." I said sarcastically. I felt myself getting smack with a pillow. "Hey, it was the truth." I grabbed Sean's beer as punishment. He gave me his normal puppy dog look and I had to give it back to him. I jumped back on the couch. His face changed when he looked back at me.

"I need to protect her. She's not like you or Jenny. I can't see her particp-"

"Sean, I understand. She's not a neighborhood girl. That's why you should have taken me when you had your chance." Sean and I burst out laughing. Our laughter was short lived when I heard someone pounding on the door. I went to get up but Sean pushed me back down. I got up anyway as he walked towards the door and I walked behind him slowly. He looked out and just breathed a sigh of relief. He opened the door and Kevin stormed through. He passed Sean and went straight for me. He scooped me up in his arms and crashed his lips against mine. His lips formed against mine and he kept kissing me hungrily. After a few seconds Sean cleared his throat. Kevin let go of me and turned to look at his brother.

"Tommy needs you something about the stock." Sean sighed and ran out of the door.

"Bye, Seannie!" I yelled out the door. Kevin ran to lock the door. I started to walk back into the living room but he came up behind me and spun me around. He threw me up against the wall. Pushing his lips against mine probing my mouth open with his tongue. I instinctively jumped up slightly wrapping my legs around his waist. He gave a sharp intake of breath. I could feel him growing but there were too many clothes for any contact. I started to rip at his shirt but he wouldn't let me break the kiss. After another moment of two he allowed me to get his shirt off while he went after mine. His lips traveled my neck freely. I jumped down off him and started to unbuckle his pants. He smiled in anticipation. When they were around his ankles I got up and grabbed his shoulder and forced him to the floor. At first I was on top of Kevin smirking but his strength pushed me down and had my back pinned to the floor. I growled underneath my breath. Kevin must have noticed because he pushed a little of his weight against me. I moaned lightly and pulled at his neck forcing him closer. He went after my neck again while I tugged at my own pants. He pulled away and laughed at my struggling. I slapped him in the head lightly.

"Than help me you jackass." I growled. Kevin smirked and started to trace kisses down my chest as he undid my pants. I slipped my fingers into his curly hair. All my clothes were gone and so were his. He moved himself up slightly and entered me. I gasped in pleasure. Kevin smiled and leaned down to kiss my lips. As he kissed me he pushed deeper. I felt a moan coming from the back of my throat. His hips moved rhythmically. A few seconds later I heard Kevin's cell start to blast with music. I just gripped him tighter forcing him to forget about the call. I squeezed his body closer. My nails dug in to his back and I could feel blood starting to slip onto me. He didn't budge. He pulled away slightly to look at me. I knew he was trying not to think of the phone but he couldn't help but be nervous. I realized that he could see the desperation in my eyes begging and pleading for him not to stop. He didn't and he pushed a little harder. I knew it was over at that moment. My body shuddered and explosions filled my brain. For Kevin it was over, too. I felt him filling up inside of me. He kissed me lightly and pulled out of me. I groaned not wanting him to leave. I tired to hold onto him but he just got up to get his cell phone. I got up and got on my toes to rest my head against his shoulder. He smirked at me and listened intently at his voicemail. His smirk disappeared. He pressed the end button on his phone and just went to find his clothes.

"What's wrong?" I said nervously. He threw on his boxers and pants and walked over to me. His hands reached down to my lower back and pulled me closer. His lips formed over mine sweetly. He pulled away slightly but we stayed in the same position. 

"I just need to take care of something." His eyes were dark so I knew he was lying. I pushed him off and almost lost my cool.

"Who was that on the phone?" My voice went an octave higher than I wanted it too. Something in me just snapped. I was having enough of a rough time dealing with what I've done worrying about the boys, than dealing with Kevin's issues. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Tommy." He said unsurely. Another lie. My fuse just blew.

"Get out." I yelled. I grabbed his shirt and threw it at him. "Come back when you can tell me the goddamn truth. I would assume after all this time you would learn that you can trust me or even love me."

"I love you, Bridgette." My anger calmed slightly but I didn't want to deal with him at the current moment. 

"Just leave, please." I said silently. He nodded and walked out the door. I hadn't even realized I was still completely naked. I grabbed my blanket on the couch and wrapped it around myself. I slid over and grabbed my cell phone. I called Jenny and asked her if she wanted to sleep over here. She sounded horrible over the phone so I told her to forget it and I'd talk to her tomorrow. She was too tired to fight so she agreed. So I spent the night alone with my copy of The Breakfast Club and a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. God, I was turning into one of those girls who would sit around complaining about men. I was never like that growing up. Sure, I was the little sister but I still was a part of them. Jenny warned me about this but I was too foolish to listen. I wasn't the best friend anymore. I was somebody's girlfriend. I was Kevin's girlfriend. I was in a relationship. Damn, I hate being an adult in love it's just to complicated.

I hadn't spoken to Kevin in a week. Ever since our blowout. He didn't call and I didn't either. Tommy would just tell me that Kevin was upset over the fight and he wanted to make it up to me. He was even considering going to Gamblers Anonymous. I would believe it when I see it. 

I was working the afternoon shift with Jenny when I started to cut meat for a corned beef sandwich I turned my head slightly to look out the window. I noticed Kevin across the street. He was talking to some red-head. She was very business like and gorgeous to say the least. I had forgotten I was cutting meat and I felt a sharp pain go across my hand. I looked down and saw blood oozing from my hand. I didn't even react. 

"Bridgette!" I heard Jenny yell. She grabbed a handful of paper towels and ran to my aid. I screamed in agony as she pushed again the wound. "Maybe you shouldn't cut your hand open and it wouldn't hurt." I saw her look at the window. She must have realized because she looked at me and chuckled. 

"Jenny, shut it." I ripped my hand away. She continued to laugh. I heard the bell chime and I turned around. Kevin just looked at me awkwardly. "Do you have a problem?" I said. Kevin just threw his hands up. I looked over at Jenny. "I'm going to get a bandage." I went out from behind the counter and started to go upstairs. Kevin followed.

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"I cut open my hand if you must know." I got up the stairs. Kevin jumped in front of me and steadied me. 

"Relax." He took my hand gently and examined it. "How did you do it?" I ripped my hand away from his.

"Don't you have another red head to flirt with?" I ran into the bathroom. Kevin threw his foot into the doorway to keep it from slamming. I growled. He threw open the door and grabbed me. 

"I wasn't flirting with her. Bridgette, I want you." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bandage from the medicine cabinet. Kevin took it from my hand again. I sighed and let Kevin wrapped my wound. I felt my anger calming down. The way Kevin was watching me I knew I must have been wrong.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Are you happy now?" Kevin just leaned down and kissed me. It was short and sweet. I knew he was sorry. He pulled away and I just smiled. "You're forgiven, too." He just smirked.

"My debt is paid." Kevin said proudly. The way he looked I knew Tommy didn't tell him. 

"How?" I asked. Something about the way he said it made me believe there was something more behind it that he didn't know about. I need to ask Tommy. No matter what happened he could never let the truth slip past me.

"Tommy talked to Nicky and it's all over with." Kevin swiped his hand underneath my knees and his other arm at my shoulders. He lifted me up and spun me around. "Everything's working out so well." I smiled at how happy Kevin was. He moved closer putting his hand upon the small of my back. "How about we get out of here and…" He leaned down and kissed me roughly.

"Kevin, come on I have to work." I pushed him off and he frowned. "Aw, don't give me that look. We can finish this later." I swiped my finger across his pants. His eyes grew wide.

"I know what you two are doing up there. That's how I ended up with morning sickness!" I heard Jenny screaming from the stairs. She always had perfect timing. I stepped away from Kevin and walked down the stairs. I swear I heard him growl under his breath. I laughed and continued my way down the stairs. Tommy was standing next to the counter. He turned his head slightly and noticed me. He immediately grabbed my forearm and dragged me outside. I looked back at Kevin and just waved to him. He smiled and turned to talk to Jenny. 

"Damnit Tommy, why do you keep doing this?" He let go of my arm and stood right in front of me. 

"Did you ever talk to Nicky after that first meeting?" His face was dead serious. I shook my head. The only other time was when he called the diner. Tommy looked like he was about to punch a wall.

"What does he want with me?" Nicky wanted something from me. I knew from Tommy's face. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the street. A car was waiting and we got in. Nicky was sitting there next to the red head that was talking to Kevin moments before. 

"Bridgette, this is Trish Hughes political advisor to Jack Trevor." Jack Trevor the city councilman who was in bed with the Irish. Why was his political advisor to Jack Trevor talking to Nicky Cottero? "She's here because she needs your help to destroy him. Your brother owns Dalloway Industries and so do you. Trevor owns a good amount of shares in it. Since Sal Minetta, Huey Farrell, and Jack's deal fell through he invested heavily in your company. There planning a two block radius construction deal that the Irish and Italian had." He stopped talking and turned to Tommy whose eyes were cold staring back at him.

"So what does this have to do with me?" I asked hesitantly. 

"We want you brother to allow us to have a block." I felt a shiver run through my body. I wasn't even going to ask why they wanted that block. It was unimportant at that moment to me.

"What makes you think I can convince my brother to sell you a block?" Nicky looked at me with a stone cold stare.

"You'll have to figure that out." He was a cocky son of a bitch that I couldn't help but respect.

"What do I get if I do this?" I looked over at Tommy. His eyes were watery which made me realize how pissed off he was.

"You'll be a partner with the Donnelly's and I." He paused slightly to look at Trish. She didn't even flinch. She kept me eyes on me. "And I forget about any debt your boyfriend has." My breath caught in my throat. I turned again to Tommy but he just looked at the window. I grabbed his hand and turned back to Nicky. He noticed that I was holding on to Tommy and he just stared. I knew what he was thinking. He thought I was weak so I let him go and held my other hand to him. He took it in his and with that we made our deal or I had just sold my soul to the devil.


	10. OnOff

Well I'm back. My show is over so hopefully some updates are going to come around. Well this chapter is based on the son "On/Off" by Snow Patrol. Btw, Don't own the Donnellys or this song.

_**I couldn't believe what I was seeing  
Faces all screwed up like what I'd done  
I didn't mean to hurt you so much  
I knew it would hurt you but not like this  
We all make a mess from time to time, dear  
But it'll take me a lifetime to get this cleared  
Somebody muttered something under their breath  
But I let on like I was a little deaf  
Nobody's perfect, that's what I say  
No one has hurt me so much you say  
I'm sorry  
Running away seemed like the easy thing to do because I wanted time  
To put a smile back on your face  
For once nothing's missing and I feel fine  
I was afraid to tell you some things  
But some things all find a way to get told  
Hearing it from the lips of somebody else  
Must have knocked the wind out of your sweet chest**_

* * *

_Maureen sat down waiting patiently for the next story to be told to her. She found her waiting days and nights just to her a story about a bunch of criminals. But she doesn't seem them as criminals. She sees them as friends like Joey does. She even sees Joey as a friend. Her friend._

"_So Bridgette didn't tell Kevin about the deal with Nicky…" Joey began._

Kevin and I barely spoke for days. A quick kiss here and there. Part of me just wanted to avoid him. It was easier than to lie to him. I knew just from how badly Tommy took the deal I didn't even want to imagine how Kevin would take it. He hated me being a part of this. I didn't want to be a part of this but I had to. To save myself and them. I knew Kevin wouldn't ever understand this.

Tommy was at the diner by the time I got to work. He looked tired and pissed off and I'm pretty sure he was fighting with Jenny. His hands were clenched on the counter and they were starting to turn white. Yeah, he was definitely fighting with Jenny.

"Jenny, stop." He was saying to her.

"No, I'm not going too. You just came home with blood on your clothes how am I supposed to react?" I looked around the diner to make sure no one heard that. Only old man Brannigan with the bad hearing was there this early. I sighed and threw my jacket underneath the counter. Strangely enough I used to be worried if any of the boys said anything about blood but now I was so used to it. And from the way Tommy looked I knew everything was fine. They still didn't acknowledge my presence.

"Good Morning." I said. Tommy and Jenny both glared at me than turned back to there fight. Tommy walked around the counter and walked towards Jenny.

"Get away from me Tommy. I told you from the beginning I don't approve of what you do but I love you so I'll turned my head but than you show up like that and…" I could hear her crying. It scared me every time she cried because she was the strongest of all of us. So when she cried it made us feel weaker. Tommy put his arms around her and she sobbed into his jacket. After a few seconds she pulled up and kissed him lightly while he petted her hair. I started to make some coffee and get ready for the morning. I heard the bell of the door chime. I turned and saw Frankie standing in front of the counter.

"Hey, Frankie. How have you been?" He smiled and sat in front of me. I hadn't seen Frankie since I left.

"I heard you were back. Sorry, I haven't gotten to see you. Being a cop is hard work." I smiled and I passed him a menu.

"Don't worry about it. My cousin never stops complaining." My cousin worked with Frankie for a while. He looked over to Jenny who was still in an embrace with Tommy. "You want to talk to Jenny or Tommy?"

"Jen." He said. I turned to look at them.

"Jen, can you come here for a sec." Jenny let go and walked towards us. She wiped the tears that still lingered on her cheeks.

"Hey, Frankie. You need something?" She said as strong as possible. He looked at me as if he wanted me to leave. I got the point and started to walk away but Jenny grabbed me. "You can say whatever you need to in front of her." I looked at Jenny. She seemed scared. She was definitely more fragile pregnant. I looked over at Tommy who came toward us too.

"Alright, I wanted to come here and tell you personally that the Samson murder case is closed. I can't get into details but I wanted you to know." He winked at Jenny. I looked over to her and she was smiling and so was Tommy.

"I think this calls for free pancakes for Frankie." Jenny nodded in agreement and I walked to the kitchen to start cooking. Tommy followed me in.

"You need to leave now." he asked. I turned slightly and looked at him.

"Not unless it is important." I turned back to the stove and he was silent. I turned back and he gave me a dead serious look. I grabbed my heart slightly feeling it pound a little bit heavier. "Who?" I said underneath my breath. He grabbed both my arms to relax me.

"Kevin fucked up." Like I haven't heard that before. "He went to Nicky about his debt and found out about our deal." Shit. Shit. Shit. "And he attacked Nicky." I already had my jacket in hand.

"Let's go."

We got to the Firecracker and the tension was unbelievable. Nicky was sitting in the booth while Kevin was sitting on the pool table and Joey was behind the bar. My eyes went straight to Kevin he looked horrible. He had another black eye (something I was getting accustomed too), a fat lip, and he looked as if he had been drinking. Tommy and I split apart. He went to sit in the booth with Nicky while I went to Kevin. I stood in front of him and I reached up to examine his eye but his arm clamped around my wrist pulling it away. His eyes were cold.

"Bridgette…" Nicky's voice called. I looked at Kevin but he looked away from me. I sighed and walked to the booth and sat next to Tommy.

"Is there a problem?" Tommy said.

"Your business seems weak. I'm assuming you didn't tell all of them about the deal." He was referring to Kevin. I looked over to Kevin but his eyes were down to the floor.

"Nicky, what do you need?" I said strongly.

"I want your boyfriend to not be involved in our affairs." He was talking about the deal between him and me. I looked back over at Kevin who was looking at me waiting for my answer.

"Fine." I said. I looked over at Tommy who nodded in agreement. I heard Kevin storm down the stairs. "Is this meeting done because I have to take care of a few things?"

"No, I want to know how the deal is going."

"I've left my brother messages. He and I are going to have a meeting tomorrow." He smiled.

"Good." He got up and walked out the door like nothing had happened. I slid out of the booth and grabbed the bottle he was drinking and threw it against the back wall.

"What the hell?" Tommy screamed.

"Joey, get me a shot of whisky now." I needed heavy alcohol to deal with Kevin right now. I got to the bar and Joey handed me the shot. I shot in down quickly and went to the top of the stairs.

"Kevin." I heard thrashing downstairs but than he appeared and started to walk up the stairs.

"What do you have another deal that you don't want to tell me about? Or you just gonna avoid me for another week?" He walked right past me.

"Kevin, come on." He rebounded very quickly.

"Bebe," He only called me Bebe when he was pissed off. "I expect that from Tommy but not from you." There was so much hurt in his eyes.

"I didn't mean to-" I walked closer to him to hold him but he backed away.

"Yeah, I can deal with my brothers letting me out of deals but you out of everyone hurt the most. Fuck you, Bebe. Go back to Ireland. It was so much easier without you." He went to touch me but stopped and turned. I don't think I ever seen him leave so fast but he did. I wanted to run after him but my legs wouldn't move. I didn't know what to say or how to excuse what I had done. I just got up and walked out making my way back to the diner. As soon as I did my cell blared. I knew whoever was calling me was important so I took a deep breath hoping it was Kevin. Normally my cell only rang for important phone calls so I took a deep breath and prayed it was Kevin to apologize. It was a restricted number so I couldn't even tell who it was. I just answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bridgette? Please don't hang up." Said a smooth Irish accent. I knew it was Caleb wanting me back.

"What part of don't call me again. Don't you understand?" I screamed causing a few passer byers to turn and stare.

"I'm in New York." He said.

"You want me to throw you a party, you dumb fuck?" I clicked my phone shut. My phone rang again and I felt my blood boiling. I flipped it open. "I swear to fucking god you call me again I'll –"

"Someone bothering you? Cause you know I'll kick there ass." Jimmy's voice boomed.

"Jimmy?" I asked. I heard him laugh.

"I'm getting out. I'm clean and there letting me go. I need you to pick me up." He said.

"I get it Jimmy. I'll be there in a half an hour. I wanna speak to your doctor, too" Jimmy chuckled.

"Since when have you become my mother, sweetheart?" I smiled to myself remembering how much I missed Jimmy.

"Shut up. Go get ready I'll be there in half an hour." I closed my phone and walked to go get my car.

I called Jenny to tell her I couldn't come in until later. I felt really bad not being around her as much but this always seemed to happen. The Donnelly's always took up most of my life in one way or another. It's not there fault it's mine. I let my life get this way and so did Jenny. But I am worse than her. I get more involved than I should be. Now I was starting to pay the price but letting everything slipping through my fingers. I was safe in Ireland. I had a taste of real life outside of them and I let it go. I pulled the key out of ignition and looked at the building in front of me. I slide out of the car and made my way towards it. The door opened and I saw Jimmy sitting in the lobby talking to another man. His color was back and so was the light in his eyes. He looked happy. Happier than I have seen him in years. He looked like he did before the accident. I walked towards him and I saw that he noticed me. Another man came up from behind him. He was tall, scruffy grey beard with grey hair to match, and a nice dress shirt on with khakis. He must have been Jimmy's doctor. Jimmy literally leaped on me and held me close. He never was a really touchy feely person so it was shocking. He pulled away.

"It is so good to see you sweetheart." I smiled and looked to the man standing next to him. He held his hand out to me.

"Dr. Webber, you must be Bridgette. Jimmy said you would be the one person he could trust to take him home." I looked at Jimmy and smirked remembering all the times I would say that to him. I let go of the doctor's hand. "It's nice seeing someone so young taking initiative to help someone else." I nodded and looked back towards Jimmy.

"Is everything ready to go?" He nodded and I walked out to the car to allow Jimmy some time to say goodbye. When he came out he limped out to the car and looked down at it.

"Nice car, Bridge." I smiled not wanting to say how I got it. He jumped in and buckled up while I did the same. He looked over at me. "What you said helped me. I didn't want to get clean until I saw the pain in your eyes." I looked over and Jimmy. He was one of the greatest influences in my life. It was really great to see him look happy and healthy.

I walked into the bar arm and arm with Jimmy. All the boys were there including Kevin. There eyes were wide looking at the brother that they had no idea was getting out of rehab. Tommy was the first to glare at me but I shook it off and looked to Jimmy.

"I'll let have some time with your brothers." I went to go walk out of the bar but Jimmy caught my arm.

"I want my whole family here." He pulled me into him and kissed the top of my head. I

smiled and looked over to Kevin whose eyes were on the ground again. I sighed pulling

away from him and I pulled off my coat. Every boy came up one by one to embrace

their brother. The last was Kevin who looked over at me acknowledging my presence and

thanking me for helping his brother. They got out of their embrace and Jimmy looked

at me. I noticed he still had a grip on Kevin.

"What's going on with you two?" I looked at Kevin to answer but all he did was shrug.

He knew that what I did was for him but he was too stubborn to admit it. Jimmy raised his hand and smacked him in the head. "Stop acting like a jackass. She's the greatest thing that has happened to any of us." My jaw dropped. What the fuck did happen to Jimmy in rehab? I noticed all the boys look a bit shocked but nodded angrily. I smiled again knowing that they were also the greatest things to every happen to me. I watched Kevin become uneasy and walk out the door. This time I had the strength to follow. He was leaning against the wall looking out onto the traffic.

"Kevin…" I breathed. He turned his head slightly and my breath caught in my throat.

"You should have told me." He seemed very mature at this moment. I'm not saying that he isn't mature but there are moments he is very naïve. I moved myself so I was standing right in front of him.

"I wanted too but I knew that you would just get mad like you did today. The only reason I did it because I love you." I grabbed his hand and he didn't pull away.

"Bridgette, I expect that from Tommy but never from you." I felt like a scolded child. "You make it hard for me to be pissed at you." He smiled lightly and leaned down to kiss me. Our lips touched lightly than he pulled away. I smiled.

"How about for the next week we don't fight?" He chuckled and nodded. He threw his arm around my shoulder while my mine was wrapped around his waist. We both walked into the bar. Jimmy saw us and started cracking up. He threw both of us pool sticks.

"Kevin you're on my team. Bebe you're on Tommy's." I smirked at Tommy who I began to walk over to.

"Idiot." He said under his breath. I'm assuming that it slipped Jimmy's mind that I am amazing at playing pool. This is going to be fun.

We all were having fun the whole night. All the boys' girlfriends came to join us. Almost all of us were drinking(except Jimmy and Joanie) but Kevin was getting pretty drunk and he put his hands on my waist trying to make me miss a shot. Joey and I were facing off in pool. He had a bet going with Joey that he could make me lose. He would have to do better than that. The door swung open and a business man walked through. He was tall with his raven hair slicked back. Even the same color eyes. He was the twin of my father. Oh god, its Daniel my brother. He definitely didn't belong in here.

"Daniel, what the hell are you doing here?"

He gave me a look as I realized that Kevin still had his hands on my hips. I pushed him off and threw the pool stick down on the table.

"Do I need a reason to see my baby sister?"

"Judging on the fact you hate this place it is a little weird." I took a step towards him. "Is this about our meeting?" He shook his head.

"Someone wanted to see you." He said motioning towards the door.

The door swung open again and a tall Irishman walked in. Green eyes with blonde hair falling against his shoulder. No, this was not happening. Caleb(my ex-fiancée) can't be here. My body tensed and I began to walk to the basement to get away from it all.

"I don't get a hello?" he said in an Irish accent.

I turned around sharply. Everyone was watching me trying to figure out what was going on.

"Daniel, I swear to fucking God if you don't get yourself or him out of here I will shove that pool stick so far up your assess…"

"Stop putting up this fucking tough routine in front of them." Daniel said.

"Than stop being such a fucking prick. Did you really need to throw my past in my face? What did I ever do to you?" Kevin stepped closer to me and tried to grab my hand. I ripped my hand away. "Kevin, please not now."

"Do you want me to get rid of them?" Jimmy asked.

"Shut up, Jimmy you fucking gimp." Jimmy and my brother were the same age. They never got along. My brother never got along with any of the Donnelly's. Not until after he started dating Jenny.

Jimmy didn't even have time to react before I did. I leaped on my brother and punched him so hard he fell to the ground. I was on top of him continually beating the shit out of him. Tommy and Sean grabbed me and got me off of him. Jenny stepped in and got me on a bar stool.

"Bebe, relax now." I couldn't. My blood was boiling. I wanted anything to hit my brother on the head with a glass bottle. Tommy and Sean backed away and stood next to Kevin who looked as bad as I did. My brother was getting up. His lip was cut and he definitely was getting a black eye. I smiled to myself knowing that I caused him pain. I was never one to fight but he pushed me over the edge

"You bitch." He spat.

"You never talk to Jimmy or any of us like that again or I will kill you." I screamed.

"There all pathetic. There criminals. Everyone that loves them gets hurt. Look at their father or their mother."

That's it. I broke free of Jenny and went in for round two. This time no one tried to stop me. I kicked him so hard in the balls he almost started crying. I punched him in the face again and he threw me to the ground. His fist curled up and he punched me. I couldn't even feel the pain. He slapped me and I spit at him. All the boys came to my rescue as soon as he had me on the ground but he did get in a few good hits. Kevin grabbed him and pulled him off me. All the Donnelly's got in and started to beat him. The Irishman didn't know what to do so he backed away. I wiped my lip. I was bleeding now. I looked up and saw Kevin and Tommy punching him in the stomach.

"Don't you ever touch her again." Jenny, Joanie, and Nadine helped me up. We all ran to our men and pulled them off. My brother ran to the door like the coward he was. Caleb stayed behind. I turned to look at Kevin to make sure he wasn't about to kill him. I could tell he was angry but he threw his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that for minutes. I could feel how tense he was and I knew if I was to pull away first he was going to snap. I was calming his anger and he was calming mine. When he pushed me away I turned to Caleb.

"I don't understand why you're here." I said. It wasn't as if I wasn't clear when I said 'I don't want to marry or be with you anymore.'

"To win you back." Kevin tried to push past me to attack him but I pulled him back. Kevin was way too drunk for a fight. He would either get his ass kicked or Caleb would end up dead.

"Don't you understand I love Kevin?" I said.

"You're not the same girl I fell in love with in Ireland." He said.

"You know nothing about me. I was different in Ireland. This is how I really am." I noticed he shifted closer to me so he was inches away. I could feel the stares of everyone around us burning into my flesh. Don't get me wrong I did love Caleb but I knew I could never be with him. Kevin was the man I needed but it was hard to turn off my feelings for Caleb. He reached out his hand and brushed my cheek lightly. It sent a shiver down my spine but I pushed him off.

"Don't. You knew why I came back here. You knew I loved Kevin." I said almost on the verge of tears.

"But he didn't love you like I did. When I met you, you were so sad that all you did was cry yourself to sleep at night. I did all my best to help you. Than you come back here for two days and you want nothing more to do with me. Because of him. Now that you're with him I can see it in your eyes your still in pain because that's all he brings you." Kevin's anger rose higher than I seen it in a while. I saw it in his eyes. Caleb was as good as dead if he didn't get out of here. Tommy strode to my side. He was trying to create more distance between Kevin and Caleb. Tommy grabbed my hand and looked at me.

"Do you want me to get rid of him?" He said.

"I'm leaving for tonight but I don't care if it takes forever to get you back I'll do it." He said nobly.

"I swear if you go near her. I'll kill you." Kevin yelled breaking lose from his silence.

Caleb nodded and walked out the door. I turned around to face Kevin. He looked as if he wanted to kill Caleb. Than suddenly he grabbed my forearms and kissed me. It was a passionate kiss that was extremely tense. I knew it was proving to himself that I was his. It scared me because I knew with Kevin this meant he was going to fight. Fight in every way possible to keep me but he refused to realize I was always his.

"I need to go." He said pulling away from my lips.

"Kevin, please don't do something stupid." I said pulling at his shirt. He took my hands away from him and walked out the door. I looked at Tommy who gave me the same worried glance I had. He nodded knowing that I wanted him to follow Kevin and he walked out the door. Tommy would take care of him. Everyone was still staring at me. So much for not fighting with Kevin for a week.

"So are you going to tell us what that was all about?" I heard Sean say. I turned to him and shrugged.

"Jimmy can you get me a whisky?" Jimmy leaned over the bar and kissed my forehead. I chuckled to myself

"And by the way can someone please get me some ice?" I looked down at my bloodied knuckles and than at my bloodied face in the mirror behind the bar.

Nadine ran down the stairs and got some ice. Jenny tried to wipe some of the blood away while bandaging me. I bit on my already bleeding lips trying not to scream from the alcohol burning my flesh. Sean and Jimmy began to get a round of drinks and Joanie kept me from concentrating on the pain. They all helped me because they were all my family. No matter what would happen. Jimmy passed me my drink and I lifted it high in the air. Even though I may have fucked up my relationship with Kevin, any chance of being close with my brother ever again, and possibly fucked up my deal with Nicky. But maybe there was hope. Maybe the luck of the Irish will kick in.

"_She seems like an optimist." Joey chuckled and Maureen handed him a piece of her sandwich. Joey looked up and saw another guard standing there. He cleared his throat and Maureen jumped._

"_Ms. Perez, the warden needs to see you." Maureen nodded and got up. She waved to Joey than walked out of view of him. He sighed than laid down on his bed drifting into a deep sleep dreaming of her face._


	11. Hey Now

Hey everyone. I'm back thankfully. I do attempt to at least update every month but now since the summer is nearing I should be able to update more and hopefully wrap it up. Well here is the next chapter. It's based on Augustana's "Hey Now" which I do not own along with the Donnellys. Enjoy and Review!

_**"Hey Now"**_

* * *

Sky black and blue  
Blue turned to red  
It's quiet in the streets now  
It's screaming in your head

I ain't a fool  
I've got my doubts  
Say it doesn't hurt  
Doesn't matter anyhow  
Anyhow

Saying hey you're bleeding for nothing  
It's hard to breathe when you're standing on your own  
We'll kill ourself to find freedom  
You'll kill yourself to find anything at all

So lock all the doors  
And put your child to rest  
It's quiet in the streets now  
It's screaming in your head  
We're passing the time  
We're breaking apart  
We're damned at the end  
We're damned at the start  
Blame it on the roses  
Blame it on the red  
Running out of time  
Running out of breath

Saying hey now you're bleeding for nothing  
It's hard to breathe when you're standing on your own  
We'll kill ourself to find freedom  
You'll kill yourself to find anything

You say good-bye  
Every day and night  
With writing on the walls  
Everybody's gonna need somebody  
To take our troubles, and our worries, and our problems all away

'Cause, hey you're just bleeding for nothing  
It's hard to breathe when you're standing on your own  
We'll kill ourself to find freedom  
You'll kill yourself to find anything at all

Hey now you're bleeding for nothing  
It's hard to breathe when you're standing on your own  
We'll kill ourself to find freedom  
You'll kill yourself before  
You'll kill yourself again

Hey now, hey now, hey now  
Right now  
Hey now, hey now, hey now  
Right now  
Hey now, hey now, hey now  
Right now

Hey now, hey now

_Joey waited patiently for her return. She said she would be back. The gate opened and his therapist walked through. Joey sighed and as the therapist sat down._

"_Joey, let's take it from the top." He said._

"_Well, Bebe thought she should make amends…" Joey started._

I stepped into the mahogany office. It was neat and perfect. My brother was always a neat freak. Some photos lined the wall. One in particular caught my eye. Daniel with his long black hair and his boyish face while I stood next to him grinning toothless with my long red hair. We looked so happy. I remember the day our mother took that. It was the same day that Jimmy's leg had gotten run over. In the back of the photo you can even see the half-moon ride. Those days used to be the greatest times of our lives now we have to fight to find good days. The door slammed open. My brother came through reading a folder.

"Alicia, can you get me the…" His voice trailed off as soon as his eyes hit me. He slammed the folder shut. "I thought you realized when you hit me the meeting was cancelled." I noticed that his eyes and his lips were only slightly bruised. He looked better than me. I was wearing more makeup than a drag queen does.

"Makeup?" I asked. He nodded and sat down at his desk. His wife Annie must have given him some to hide the extreme bruising that I had done with my fists. "Look Daniel, I'm not going to apologize for what I did last night. Frankly, I think you deserved it. All I want to say is I hope we can put this behind us. I need this to be put behind us." He just gave me a cold stare.

"What do you want Bridgette?" His voice was even cold. What the hell had happened to my brother? He used to be so warm and sweet. He used to be the one I ran to in my time of need. We used to be so close. He used to be my brother.

"I need you to sell me a block of the two block radius you and Jack Trevor have." His jaw dropped.

"How the hell did you know about that?" He was standing and he was turning red. I must have said something that pissed him off.

"I have my ways. Sell it to me and I will never bother you again." His normal color came back and he sat down. He threw his head in his hands.

"What do you want with it?" He mumbled.

"Just sell me the block, please. As my brother do this for me or we'll have to let the board decide." He growled.

"You're not taking this to the board. It's not that easy, Bridgette. I just can't break a deal because you mysteriously need a block." I could sense fear in his tone. It's something I hadn't heard in a long time.

"You pretty much run and own the company."

"I run it but I don't own it completely so I can't just make rash decisions."

"I'm begging you, Daniel. Do this one thing for me." I could see I was slowly persuading him.

"I'll see what I can do but you need to know what you're getting into." There was concern in his voice which scared me. He started to rummage through his desk. He passed me a file. "Read it carefully and notice all the signatures attached to it." I nodded.

"I know who's attached and I know this is a dangerous game but we're ready." He sighed defeated.

"I'll message you over papers tomorrow. You'll need copies and everyone needs to sign the original and I mean _everyone._"

"Daniel, thank you. I know we don't always get along but I still care for you and the girls." He nodded. I went to walk out but he stood up and stopped me.

"Please be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you. Have those boys protect you." I smiled at him because he was acknowledging the Donnelly's.

"I will." I had my hand on the doorknob.

"And Bridgette I'm sorry." I turned around and smiled at him. He reached in and embraced me. Holding on to me for a few seconds.

"We're brother and sister it would be unnatural if we didn't fight. Just next time don't call my ex-fiancée." He let go of me and chuckled. I walked out the door smiling to myself. We were going to be ok.

"_**Daniel!" Bebe screamed out in the middle of the night. Daniel rushed over to her bed and held her while she cried.**_

"_**Bebe, what's wrong?" She continued to sob into his flannel pajamas.**_

"_**I had a dream about daddy." She whispered. Daniel picked her up and brought her to sleep in his bed. She rested her head on his shoulder and she went into a peaceful sleep with her brother next to her. **_

Those memories were always going to be cherished.

I needed normalcy for a little while. So I went back to work. The diner was absolutely silent except for the sound of the radio playing The Rolling Stones. Jenny looked up as I walked through the door.

"You look pretty good for someone who just got in a brawl." She said sarcastically. I looked at myself in the mirror behind the counter. My eyes were swollen and my lip was fat. I grimaced. I thought my knuckles were bad.

"I just saw my brother." She turned and gave me a look. "We both apologized."

"For hitting a girl." She said under her breath.

"I know my brother's a dick. At least I didn't date him." Jenny grabbed a piece of bread and threw it at my head. I stuck my tongue out at her and she smirked.

_**Jenny and Bebe laughed as Mrs. Reilly attempted to teach them to make Boxy. **_

"_**Ok, first you start by peeling the potatoes." Mrs. Reilly said demonstrating the process. Bebe grabbed a handful of potatoes and attempted to peel them. Jenny did the same. Both of them failed the process. Jenny grabbed a handful of them and chucked them at Bebe's head. She almost doubled over with laughter and grabbed a handful and chucked it at Jenny. Mrs. Reilly rolled her eyes as the two girls continued in there potatoes war. The finally stopped when both of them fell to floor with laughter. **_

Jenny and I sat at the counter laughing about stupid things we had done in our past. All the broken bones, scars, boyfriends, and school. It was the first time since I've gotten back that Jenny and I could sit around and to not worry about anything. We reminisced about all the times we would save the boys asses.

_**I sat down next to Jenny in the school yard. She was all alone because the Tommy, Kevin, and Sean were being reprimanded by a teacher because they had been fighting with some kids.**_

"_**How do you think we can get them out of this one?" Jenny asked. Bebe smiled at her than Bebe started to cry. She got the teachers attention right away. She ran over as Jenny pretended to comfort her. **_

"_**What happened?" The teacher asked Jenny.**_

"_**Those boys…" Jenny pointed to the one's the Donnelly's were fighting with. "…were picking on her. So these boys stepped in to help her now she feels bad for getting them in trouble." The teacher nodded and looked at the boys.**_

"_**Just do me a favor and come to me if this happens again. Detention is not necessary this time. Now all of you go along and play." The all nodded while Jenny held onto Bebe's hand. The teacher went to go reprimand the other kids. When she was out of sight Bebe let go of Jenny and wiped her tears. For a seven year old she wasn't a bad actress. She and Jenny gave each other a high five while all the boys watched in astonishment. They were the best tag team anyone has ever seen.**_

Jenny and I split a piece of cheesecake waiting for the next customer to come in.

"Do you think we would be this close if it wasn't for the boys?" I said jokingly. Jenny chuckled and nodded her head.

"You're the only girl I can stand to be around in this neighborhood." I laughed. Out of all the women in this neighborhood we were the most down to earth. And we were really tomboys. We didn't have time for all the womanly bullshit and it was no surprise our mothers were friends. I heard the bell chime and I turned to see who it was. Tommy, Jimmy, and Joey walked through. I was slightly disappointed Kevin wasn't there. I jumped up waiting for an answer to the question I posed all night. Where in the world was Kevin? Tommy walked toward me and rubbed my arm gently. Kevin was fine, probably sleeping off his drunkenness. He walked past me and kissed Jen. I turned toward Jimmy and Joey.

"Do you guys want anything?" I asked.

"A cheeseburger, extra pickles and bacon with fries." Jimmy said happily. "I haven't had a burger in three months." I smiled and looked towards Joey.

"Nothing."

"You sure?" He looked around the diner.

"How about some cake?" I nodded and went to get them food. I walked behind the counter when another bell chimed.

"Bridgette?" I swirled around to see Kevin leaning against the counter in front of me. His eyes were bloodshot but his smile was unmistakable. Something had to happen last night. He leaned over the counter and gripped at my neck. His blue eyes connected with mine and I felt those old butterflies come up in my stomach. He leaned in closer and caught my lips. My hands slid into his mass of curly hair. This was worth any pain I had in my lips. I felt Kevin clamp his arms around my wrists and pull them out of his hair. I was slightly disappointed when he pulled away but I knew he did it because his brothers were around. He didn't break our eye contact though.

"What the hell got into you?" Jimmy said behind us. Kevin broke out of his stare and sat down in front of me. I just leaned against the counter trying to keep myself balanced since that kiss left me dizzy. I looked at Kevin who was licking his lips. I gripped onto the counter a little tighter.

"Is it so bad if I kiss my girl?" Kevin said. I felt my cheeks get a bit red. He never referred to me as a girl before.

"Aw, she's embarrassed." Joey said. Jimmy slapped him in the head.

"Ow, did you have to do that?" Joey asked.

"You have to learn to shut your mouth." Jimmy snapped. A cell phone began to ring but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Tommy reached into his pocket and grabbed it out of his pocket. Jenny just held onto his hand refusing to let go.

"Hello?-Yeah- we'll deal with it tomorrow. Just get the money." He slammed the phone shut than looked at Jimmy. "Jimmy, I need you to make a pickup." He grabbed a napkin and jotted down an address. He then handed it to Jimmy. "Don't do anything stupid." Jimmy laughed it off and stood up.

"Joey, let's go." Joey followed him out like a sad puppy dog. When they were gone I turned to Tommy.

"What was that all about?" I inquired. He pinched the bridge of his nose. I laughed inwardly because Tommy only did that when he was really frustrated.

"I let you in on the Nicky deal other than that it's my problem and don't bother trying to get it out of Kevin." I just rolled my eyes and looked at Kevin.

"How about you stick up for your girlfriend?" He just shrugged. "Oh, who said chivalry is dead?" Jenny laughed lightly. She stood up and walked into her hallway.

"I'm going upstairs. Bridgette, close up and go home. You look horrible." She said walking up the stairs. Ever since her father went to the hospital Jenny has been taking more time off from the diner. Her pregnancy and the extra income of money had made it easier for her to do so. I can't really complain.

"Thanks Jen!" Tommy smiled and followed her up. "Kevin, shall we go to my place?" Kevin smiled sexily and I felt my heart melt a little. I leaned in closer to him. "Is sleeping with me going to make you feel better?" I knew I was going to ruin the mood but it had to be addressed. He pulled away and I could see his attitude developing.

"Is it so bad I wanna have sex with my girl?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"You sleep with me every time you're jealous. It's like a territory thing." He let out a low growl. "Grow up and tell me what happened last night?" He looked dead at me trying to make me break my stare. I knew he was standing his ground.

"Nothing. He was gone before I could kick his ass." I rolled my eyes yet again. Something I've been doing a lot more often being with Kevin.

"Can't you just let things go?" He shook his head. "Stupid Irish men." He leaned in closer grasped my hair again. His lips locked with mine again lips. It was a strong and powerful kiss. Almost like the one last night. It was demanding of me to stay with him. He pulled away and licked his lips again causing my knees to go weak. Kevin was the only person who ever had that affect on me.

"Can we please get out of here?" He begged. I nodded and started to wipe up the counter. He started to fiddle around impatiently like a five year old. It got really annoying after a few minutes so I turned around.

"Go to my house and wait. I'll be there in half an hour and I have to stop by the bar." He leaned in again and kissed me hungrily again. It was an incentive to make me close up faster.

"Don't be late." I smiled as he walked out the door. Even after all this time Kevin still made me feel like Jell-O. Wow, did I really just refer to my feeling as Jell-O?

I locked up and made my way to the bar. The night before Jimmy asked me to look over the books so everything looked legal. I had to go pick them up before I forget. I decided to not take my car and just walk it would be easier than finding parking in this damn neighborhood. I made my way through the streets walking as fast as I could. I didn't want to keep Kevin waiting or even myself waiting for Kevin's touch. I walked to the alleyway and noticed I wasn't the only on there. A few Irish Mafioso's stood before me. My feet planted firmly on the ground and I lost all sense to run. My back was suddenly pinned to the wall and two hands formed around my throat. My breathing became shallow. Was this the way I was to die?

"_Joey, what did I miss?" Maureen ran sitting at her position outside the cell. The therapist rolled his eyes and stood up._

"_Maybe, you should be his therapist. So he can give you a straight answer." The therapist walked out leaving them alone. Joey just smiled at Maureen and went to retell his story._


	12. Nothing Lasts Forever

I want to apologize for not updating in so long but life always seemed to get in the way. Well, I want to say that this is the last chapter of This Love but I promise you there will be a sequel. It will be shorter and is much more planned out than this arc. I realized I needed to take break from this story to write others but I'm back and I promise the story will be fully wrapped up soon. I also want to thank everyone who actually read this story. I hope you all enjoy the final chapter.

Again, I do NOT own any of these characters except Bridgette. Also, this chapter is based off the song "Nothing Lasts Forever" By Maroon 5.

* * *

Fear. Real fear washed over my entire body. I was going to die. Die in the hands of a man who used to pay me to baby-sit his kids. In front of people who were friends of my mother. My body was shaking uncontrollably and it felt as if my heart was going to leap out of my chest. This wasn't like that night in the bar. That night I felt fear but this time I could feel my life slipping away as his grip became tighter around my throat.

"You fucking bitch. " He spat. I began to squirm trying to get him off of me. I don't want to die. I don't want my last thing to be him. I want my brothers and sister to be with me. Jenny, Tommy, Jimmy, and Sean. I wanted Kevin to be with me. Kevin. His name screamed in my mind. If I die I don't want him to get hurt. I want him to move on, to love someone else, and to forget me. No what am I saying? I'm way too young to die. This isn't fair. I began to fight harder. I started to kick but I was getting lightheaded and everything was started to fade. I thought I was imagining things when I heard a car pull up. It was all in my imagination.

"Let her go." A husky voice said. The hands loosened and my vision was becoming clearer. I began to take deep shallow breaths. Oxygen finally got to my brain and I could see whose voice that was. Nicky Cottero was getting out of his car and so was Vinny.

"Nicky, I didn't know you took such interest in one of the Donnelly's…" He looked at me. "_whores." _He spat. Nicky advanced towards.

"If I was you Earl, I wouldn't be messing with the girl who holds all the power." Earl pulled away from me and Vinny grabbed my forearm, dragging me away. I didn't have the strength to pull away. He put me in the backseat and I instantly laid my head back taking deep breaths. Vinny joined me in the front seat.

"You got lucky there, sweetheart. If we hadn't been passing, you could've gotten hurt." That was an understatement. If Earl was left to his own devices I would have died. I looked straight trying to read the lips of Nicky. I guess I lost more oxygen then I thought because they weren't making sense. Nicky then turned around and walked toward the car. I was waiting for a gun shot but only the sound of the motor running underneath me. When he made in the car and it started to pull away from the lounge I finally sighed in relief. All of us were safe. For now at least. Nicky stayed silent and I couldn't form the words to thank him. He didn't need to save me and I didn't need to feel thankful that he was still alive. To the Donnelly's he was just an associate that could be replaced. He defiantly was going to regarded higher(in my book at least) for saving my life.

"I'm going to take you to my club for now. You should call someone to pick you up there." Nicky finally said about fifteen minutes into our drive.

"Thank you, Nicky." My voice sounded rough. Like I had a sore throat. Nicky just turned in his seat real quick and nodded. He turned back around and I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I dialed the only number I wanted to call. It rang only once.

"Bridgette, I'm sorry I left your house. Jimmy needed me. I'll be back in an hour. I'll talk to you then." Kevin said rushed. I could hear a few groans and Jimmy's voice.

"Kevin, put the goddamn phone and help me." There was a pause. "Sean hold him! Damn it, Sean. Kevin!" Jimmy was obviously picking up another bet. It wasn't going to well.

"Kevin, please listen. I…" My voice pleading. I could feel myself on the verge of tears. I needed him so badly at the moment. I needed him to come pick me up and tell me everything was going to be ok. For him to just hold me.

"Bridgette, I love you. See you soon." The phone line went dead. I felt a tear slid down my cheek. I pushed it away quickly. I would see him soon enough. I was lucky enough to have that. I began to dial another number. It rang only once, again.

"Bridgette?" Tommy said sleepily.

"I'm really sorry, Tommy. I didn't mean to wake you. I need your help." I couldn't mask the worry in my tone. I knew Tommy was going to react.

"What happened?" Tommy's voice sounded alert and nervous.

"Earl. Just come to Nicky's bar. My car is at the diner." I hung up the phone. That's all Tommy needed to know at this point. I would explain when he got to the bar.

The car suddenly came to a halt and Vinny jumped out of the car. He opened my door and helped me out. The both quickly walked into the bar and they dragged me with them. The bar was empty except for some punk chick stocking the bar. She just glared at me and continued.

"Casey, get her a whisky." Nicky said. The girl did as she was told and passed it to me. I nodded to Nicky and shot it down. The harshness of the drink felt good against my dry throat. Nicky smiled at me as I put it down.

"I know how you Irish like that." I nodded and looked out the window waiting for all hell to break loose.

I could hear a screech of tires and a door slam. Tommy was here and he was worried. The door to the bar swung open and Tommy ran towards me.

"What the hell happened?" He said breathless. He stood a foot away from me waiting for my answer. I just threw myself against him and burying my face into his chest. Dry broken sobs began to come from me. Tommy just wrapped his arms around me and petted my hair. "It's ok, Bridgette. You're fine." He paused for a moment before he spoke again. "What the hell happened to her?"

"Earl. He tried to strangle her." He said bluntly. Tommy's body tensed and he pushed me back a little. He stared at my neck and his fingers swayed over my neck. I flinched and that didn't help his anger. He moved away from me. I wiped my eyes and looked at Tommy. His eyes were glassy again. That worried me.

"Bridgette, do you think you could drive home?" I nodded. He had to talk to Nicky. I knew that. He passed me my keys and put them in my hands and closed my palm. "Be careful." He said. I smiled weakly and went to my car not knowing what I was going to do with myself.

My house was silent with sun warming the inside. A beautiful hot August day. I could hear the children outside screaming and running in the streets like we once had done. It was like that anymore. Now I can't walk down the street without someone wanting to kill me. Tommy was right. I was bargaining chip and I was being stupid for getting myself involved but I couldn't just back out now. It was too late. I threw my bag across the hallway and ran to my couch. I jumped on it and slammed my face against the pillow. I wanted to cry, to feel some sort of release but I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me. I sighed and crawled into the fetal position. I heard my door open and I leaned up to look. I could see the mass of curly hair walking through.

"Kevin…" I breathed. He looked over and smiled at me. He shut the door and came over.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here. Jimmy really needed-" I jumped up on the couch and kissed him. I could feel his resistance but I just wrapped my arms around his neck and continued. He finally kissed me back and he pulled me off the couch and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He fell back down to the couch with me still wrapped around him. He pulled away from my lips and started to trail kisses down my neck. I started to fell a shooting pain on my neck. I bit down hard on my lips to keep from screaming. I pulled away slightly to start kissing him on the lips again. Kevin stared to pull at my top when I could hear banging on the door.

"Bebe!" Jimmy screamed. Kevin and I both looked toward the doorway. I looked back at Kevin on top of me.

"He'll go away." I whispered pulling his lips toward me again. The banging got louder and faster.

"I swear to god I'll break this door down." I sighed and pushed Kevin off. I fixed my hair and walked to the door. I latched it and opened it slightly.

"What do you want, Jimmy?" He glared at me while Joey behind him smiled weakly. Oh god, they knew. I closed the door and unhinged the lock and opened it fully.

"What did he do to you?" Jimmy growled. I sighed and just let my eyes fall to the floor. "Well?" He growled again. I looked up back at him.

"Tommy is taking care of it." I said looking over at Kevin who threw his arm around me. He looked confused as hell.

"Did you know that Earl choked her?" I cringed as I felt Kevin's body stiffen. Jimmy knew so why the hell did he have to ask me what happened? Kevin let his hand slid from mine. "Earl, is going to get what is coming to him." Jimmy looked at Kevin ad stormed out. Joey walked slightly towards me.

"Are you ok?" I nodded and he smiled weakly again. He then ran after Jimmy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kevin said silently. I turned to stand right in front of him and I put my palms against his face.

"I was going too just not at the moment. I need you and I knew you would freak out." He put his hands on my wrist and pulled my hands away. He let them go and just looked at me.

"I need to go." He was cold and there was fire in his eyes. He wanted Earl's head on a platter as much as I did but Kevin could do something about it. I couldn't. He went to walk away but I grabbed his hand.

"Don't, I'm begging you. Tommy is taking care of this." He stared at me more coldly than before.

"No, Bebe." He turned and walked towards the door. I thought of the only thing I could.

"You walk out now and we are over." I said cruelly. Kevin stopped but didn't turn around. He sighed and closed the door behind him. I just fell to the floor realizing the weight of the day. Everything was over for me and a whole new life was beginning. One I never wanted. I crawled over to my bag and grabbed out my cell phone. I found the number I wanted and called. The person answered after two rings.

"Hello?"

"I need to see you. Can you come by my place?" I stared at the closed door wondering when the hell it would open again and I would get my life back.

*****************

"It's about time." I said exhausted, pulling open the door. When I opened the door my eyes grew wide. Jenny was standing there with messy hair and a long coat. In her eyes she was distant. It looked as if she couldn't even see me.

"Jen?" I said breaking her from her trance. She finally looked me in the eye and opened her coat. Her medium sized belly and her whole chest was caked with blood over her white shirt and jeans. Blood, as if someone spilled a whole blood bag on her. I reacted instantly.

"The baby?" I said touching her stomach. She shook her head. I breathed a sigh of relief and threw my around her pulling her into the house. I locked the door and looked back at her. Her eyes became dazed again. I pressed my arm against her waist and started to pull her up the upstairs to the bathroom. I pushed open the door and sat Jenny on the toilet bowl. I pulled back the shower curtain and turned on the shower. I tested the water and it was perfect. I turned back to Jenny and she was still looking straight ahead of her. I kneeled down in front of her and started to unbutton her blouse. She just stared at me. No hint of recognition in her eyes. I stood her up and tugged down her jeans. I walked with her into the shower. I threw some shampoo into my hand and massaged into her hair. She turned and looked at me. Finally, realizing who I was. She fell into me sobbing. Her body was shaking and I just did what I could. I held her until she needed me to pull away.

Jenny finally washed up and I gave her some clothes. When she came downstairs I knew she wanted to tell me what happened so I waited with tea for her in the kitchen.

"Tommy." I jumped up terrified that it was Tommy's blood. Jen's eyes shot to me. "No, he's fine." I sat down calming myself. I reached my hand across the table to grasp hers.

"What happened?" She took a deep breath and started her story.

"I shut everything down and went upstairs but when I got there I wasn't alone. This man was standing in my room. Just standing there waiting. I grabbed the bat I had in the hallway and waited for him to come at me. He did and he knocked me down. I could have swore he was going to kill me and the baby." She was rubbing her belly absentmindedly. "Than Tommy came and he grabbed a knife from the kitchen and just kept stabbing him. I've never seen Tommy so brutal." She stopped speaking and looked away. She never had seen Tommy kill someone or be that gruesome. I have. I looked at Jen. Her focus was on her belly. She looked up at me. "I'm here because I need you to help me leave." I did a double take.

"What?" I said staring at her. She of all people could never leave this place.

"Bridgette, I need you to get me out of here. I need you to not have anyone find me." I sipped down my tea burning my tongue. I was so shocked by Jenny wanting to do this.

"Jen, if you go you can't come back and think everything is erased." I know that from personal experience. She nodded and stood up.

"I'm doing this for my child and I need your help." She looked my straight in the eye. "Are you going to help me?" I took a deep breath.

"I'm going with you. There is no way in hell I'm not helping you through this." Jenny sat down and drank her tea. I knew right than she fully thought this through.

8888888888888888888888

I started packing the car with all of our stuff. Just putting in whatever I could.

"Bridgette?" A smooth Irish accent called out. I turned from throwing in my emergency duffel bag. I stared straight into his blue orbs and I realized he was dangerously close to me. I backed up a little. Those old chills he gave me were gone and now he was just making me uncomfortable.

"Caleb, I called you to apologize for my actions the other day." His eyes flickered to the trunk. I turned and shut it.

"Going somewhere?" His voice sounding uneasy. He ignored my apology. I jumped up on the trunk, swinging my legs off of it.

"I'm going away for a while." A smile tugged at his lips.

"Ireland?" I shook my head and his smile fell. He leaned next to me waiting for me to explain myself.

"I don't know where I'm going at the moment." It was the truth. I haven't gotten the call I need to no where the hell I'm going.

"Why did you call me, Bridgette?" I wish I could feel the same way he felt about me.

"When I called I need some sort of normalcy. Some comfort from an outside source. I needed that until my best friend came to me for help. Than I knew normalcy was never something I was going to achieve."

"Why can't you?" Their was so much innocence in his voice I wanted to cry.

"It's just not who I am, Caleb. You fell in love with the broken part of me. The one who tried to be normal. Caleb, I'm sorry for everything I put you through but it's really over. It never even began." I leaned over to him and kissed him on the lips for a light kiss. When I pulled away he just nodded to me and walked away. I knew from that it was the last time I would ever see him and it was the last time I would ever have any normalcy.

Jenny came down the stairs locking the door behind her.

"Are you ready?" She asked me. I should be asking her that. I was accustomed to running away.

"Yes, I am." Jenny came down and threw the rest of her stuff in the backseat. I jumped in the car than she followed. We both looked at each other for a long moment. "Jen, this is your last chance to change your mind." She just turned to look out the window.

"Drive." She whispered and I could hear the hint of tears in her eyes. I did as I was told and pressed my foot on the gas going to where I knew we would be safe.

The drive was smooth as we drove past the city lights and into a world unknown to both of us. Jenny fell asleep quickly. I think it was for the best. She needed all the rest she could get. I just drove on reminding myself that I was doing the best I could for Jenny and her baby. Even for me and even for Kevin. We were too fucked up to ever have anything other then pain. I didn't want that for him or myself. I sighed as my cell phone began to ring. I didn't even have to look at the caller id. I opened it and pressed the phone up to my ear.

"Bridgette, is Jenny with you?" Tommy sounded concerned. I looked over to a sleeping Jenny.

"Yeah, she is here." I could here Tommy crying on the other side.

"Where are you guys?" I bit down on my lip.

"Tommy, we left." I said slowly as possible.

"You what?" He sounded confused and anxious.

"We are gone. Jenny and I are moving away for a while." I said in a normal tone.

"Bebe, you can't be serious." Disbelief, Jenny would never do this to him. He didn't understand how much it hurt her to even think about running away.

"Tommy, I just want you to know that Jenny and I love you. We love all of you and can you do me a favor. Tell Kevin to move on and I love him."

"Bebe, wait…" I threw my cell phone out of the moving car. That was for all I knew that would be last time I would hear Tommy's voice. It would be the last time for a lot of things was all I could think. It didn't help with the pain deep in the pit of my stomach. Knowing it would end. Everything would end. I looked over at Jenny beside me and looked at her growing Belly. That baby was the only thing would go on and I knew right them I had to protect that child. I pressed my foot on the gas going a tiny bit faster to the place we would be safe.

* * *

Thank you all for reading!


End file.
